Virtues’ Disciples

      Several weeks have transpired between the Halcyon of today, and the Halcyon that alllmost was able to confess their feelings to Primrose. Almost. After finishing their coffee at Paradise Cafe, instead of returning to discuss what had happened, Primrose was feeling too tired and Halcyon was still on edge from the supper itself. Ever since that day, they are constantly missing each other for events and meetings. An emergency call here, an overdue errand there, and Halcyon barely has the ability to speak four words to Primrose. Even with their rooms being mere yards apart, Halcyon still can’t work up the courage to say "hi" in the mornings when they pass each other in the hallways. Halcyon always has a good grasp of where Primrose is too, but the minute they show up, Primrose is whisked away by character or circumstance. If anything, all of this seems like a sign from the universe saying "well buddy, you tried your best, but it's time to call it quits for now".

      Halcyon has since poured himself into his regular, routine daily life and work. Reading books of philosophy and morality, painting inside the garden itself, sculpting abstract forms of concrete concepts, and even tending to the plants he'd helped with those weeks ago. His whole life's desire is to determine what he's for, and there's no better way to do so than losing himself in the vestiges of psyche. Even if the quiet ruminations tend to become spirals of agony and guilt. Having healthy ways to manifest that consciousness and then dissect it is half of the reason Halcyon keeps going.

      A soft neigh breaks them from their thoughts. Woodland nuzzles against Halcyon's leg, the uniqor clearly impatient to keep moving. Today is another day of Halcyon spending time in the Garden of Virtues crafting paintings showcasing the statues in different light and conditions, as a sort of ongoing art project. Hopefully Primrose will see the paintings and enjoy them, allowing Halcyon to display their work around the embassy. But, they worry that not many cherubuns will appreciate the depictions of humility in a rain shower, or temperance on a blazing summer afternoon. Today's process is going to be slow: sketching out all of the little tools of diligentia will be a time-consuming task. It's not like Halcyon has any more pressing matters today, anyways.

      He’s barely began painting the body of diligentia before a soft voice carries through the foliage of the Garden of Virtues. He can’t make out what they’re saying at first, but a familiar tone crosses and makes his breath catch in his throat: Primrose. Tiptoeing around the side of the benevolia statue, Halcyon peeks his head out and sees Primrose’s back, and he’s with another bun. A succubun no less. Primrose waves at various points in the gardens, clearly outlining the greenhouse for the other bun. Primrose seems to be… smiling? Laughing even. The other buns continue talking, as Halcyon watches intently. Woodland nuzzles against his leg and Halcyon shoos them away. The uniqor chuffs and stamps their hoof, before trotting over to nuzzle against Primrose. Halcyon watches on in horror as his imp betrays him! The succubun sees the imp and leans down to pet them, Primrose caught off-guard briefly. His eyes glance around the garden until he locks gazes with Halcyon, whose face is flush with embarrassment. Primrose turns to the succubun and says something, causing the bun to nod and… go in for a hug. Primrose is caught off-guard yet again, before embracing the bun! Halcyon gasps in confusion and disbelief. After the hug ends, the succubun waves goodbye and leaves the garden, with Primrose and a hidden Halcyon standing by.

      The garden is quiet yet again, save for the sounds of misting fans blowing overhead and particularly magical flowers chiming in response. Halcyon’s breathing returns to normal. Primrose stands still, staring up at the matte glow of light streaming through the top of the greenhouse. Woodland butts into Primrose’s legs, breaking the cherubun free from his thoughts. The uniqor trots over to Halcyon’s hiding spot, and when they arrive Halcyon steps out and approaches Primrose with caution.

      “Who was that?” They ask.

      Primrose glances at Halcyon for a brief moment before his eyes flicker to a nearby fruit tree. “Someone interested in helping tend the garden.”

      “I see.”

      Tension permeates the air like clouds swollen with rain yet to fall. Neither cherubun make a move or utter a single thing, Primrose’s eyes wandering around the flora while Halcyon stares at their own hooves. Several moments pass like this, the discomfort and awkwardness palpable. Heart tugging on their soul, Halcyon opens their mouth to break the silence just as Primrose does the same.

      “So about that night—“ Both cherubuns say in unison. Primrose smiles slightly as Halcyon grabs their ears and covers their face. They feel a gentle hoof on their shoulder and look up with a start as Primrose is now there, comforting them.

      “You go first.” Primrose encourages.

      Halcyon drags in a deep breath. “I… I just wanted to… t-talk to you about something.”

      Primrose’s smile morphs into a frown, his brow furrowing. “Well, clearly you didn’t.” He withdraws his hoof and stands, arms crossed.

      Strange. Primrose is usually only this sassy with succubuns devoid of proper manners or etiquette, he’s never like this with other cherubuns, much less Halcyon. This situation is more complicated than they thought. They draw in more air, gulping for it like someone stranded in the desert guzzling down water.

      “I just got so flustered and nervous because of the nickname… it made me… excited.” The last word out of Halcyon’s mouth is almost whispered, heat rushing to their face.

      Primrose considers this thought for a moment. “Excited about what?”

      Halcyon once more grips his ears and holds them over his face. “…if you feel the same way.” His words barely audible past his fur.

      Primrose grins, though of course Halcyon cannot see him. “Halcyon,” Primrose steels his voice to not give away his smile, “please be more direct.” The white bun swallows his smirk and contorts his face into a visage of pure neutrality.

      Halcyon begins trembling. “If you feel the same way about me.” He draws in one last deep breath, and peeks through his ears at Primrose. “That I feel about you.”

      Primrose figures this was what was on the other bun’s mind, but hearing Halcyon actually confess audibly is… mystifying. “Oh.” Is the only word Primrose chokes out. “Oh.”

      Silence once more. The cherubuns stand still, thoughts flying through their heads as if they were avias in flight. Even Woodland’s neighs and chuffs of boredom can’t shake them out of their rumination. Slowly lowering their ears, Halcyon takes a tentative step towards Primrose, whose face is a deep shade of pink. Rarely is Primrose completely lost for words, and this is more incredulous to Halcyon than worrisome. Woodland nudges at Primrose’s belly, and the bun shakes his head, blinking a few times. His eyes meet Halcyon’s once more, and Primrose walks towards the Garden of Virtues.

      Curiosity compels Halcyon to follow. Walking immediately to the statue of benevolence, Primrose pulls out the paper he had with him yesterday. Where’d that come from? Halcyon can’t answer that question before Primrose begins reading.

      “Halcyon.” The head of the Heavenly Embassy begins, giving his audience of cherubun and imp a quick glance. “I hope the following information will not shock nor harm you.” Halcyon shifts their weight from one foot to the other. “The more interactions I’ve had with succubuns, the greater my knowledge has expanded. I’ve seen all sorts of new buns in all manner of being. Some, as virtuous and ethereal as ourselves. Others,” Primrose shudders, “a testament to everything Melangel’s teachings warned about. And yet, despite every trial and tribulation, every lesson and revelation, I have come to find myself… becoming like them.”

      Primrose pauses to gather his thoughts further. “I’ve taught succubuns, talked with them, dined with them, and even cried with them. However, the characteristic they’ve imparted upon me most has been… jealousy.” Halcyon stifles a shocked gasp, and Primrose chuckles quietly. “Heinous, I know my friend, I hope hearing this doesn’t make you think less of me. I have watched succubuns frolic with their partners and spend intimate moments together, completely outside of what we’ve known.” Primrose holds the note up in front of his face. “I’ve… yearned for something, watching them be free of their virtues. There’s something so enticing about… finally being rid of Melangel’s influence. And now that we’re in that position, and have that ability… I’ve been completely paralyzed.”

      Peeking over his notes, Primrose sheds a small tear. “I couldn’t believe that this would ever be possible. Under Melangel… thoughts of this nature were forbidden. So, I never wanted for more. Not like you. You, brave soul, falling after Dove because you knew there was more, there had to be more. And I… I was jealous then, too.”

      Halcyon sits on the soft grass of the garden, Woodland laying beside him. The light of the greenhouse is slowly morphing from a clear crystal blue to a deeper shade of cerulean. “Oh Primrose—“ He says.

      “I’m not done, please don’t interrupt me.” Primrose says, Halcyon tilting his head slightly. “You’ve always felt constrained in your duties, and seeing you have the chance to shed them brought me hope. Because I…” Primrose swallows. “…I wanted that, too. I wanted to be as happy as you were. Seeing all of the succubuns with their lack of inhibitions, watching them love each other… I thought, there’s no one else I’m as close to as you. We’ve been together through so much, and… I wouldn’t be the bun I am today without you. I only came down to Burrowgatory because of your inspiration.” Primrose pauses. Well, and Dove, and everyone else, but you were the biggest reason why.”

      The confession of all Primrose’s feelings bring tears to Halcyon’s eyes. He cries softly as Primrose continues on, and behind him, the hum of the greenhouse’s misting fans begingreenhohse’. Primrose is so engrossed in revealing his truths that Halcyon’s sobs lay on shuttered ears. It is only when Primrose looks up at his audience that the beauty before him spreads out.

      It’s only a few handfuls of “flakes” at first, but from the greenhouse garden proper, small white seedlings drift towards the cherubuns in the Garden of Virtues. As the fans above them kick on as well, more of the seeds appear, lazily wafting through the air as if on tiny fairy wings. The greenhouse is slowly filled with dozens upon dozens of seeds hanging in the air, shimmering with the light.

      “Halcyon.” Primrose interrupts the other bun’s crying, barely registering it. “Look.”

      Halcyon rubs his eyes of tears and sees Primrose’s gaze fixed behind him. As he turns around, a seed lands daintily on his nose, making him sniffle. Woodland sees the seedlings drift about and whinnies with joy, standing up to prance around and collect the flakes on their coat. Halcyon watches in awe at the scenery before him, transformed into a winter paradise. His tears stop as he turns back to Primrose, who is now tearing up himself.

      “It’s gorgeous.” Primrose says. Halcyon nods, the ache in his heart momentarily alleviated. “It’s time to harvest the winter’s tears, I believe.” Primrose continues. Wordlessly, Halcyon stands up and makes his way to the small shed against the wall of the greenhouse. Primrose heads to the winter section to meet Halcyon, who returns with baskets and shears in tow. He passes several to Primrose and they quietly begin the work of harvesting.

      The seedlings of the winter’s tears surround them with their glimmering glory, giving a sense of levity to the otherwise monotonous work. The blooms from the winter’s tears grow along the stalk akin to gladiolus flowers, and as such it takes a careful hoof to snip them away without damaging the stalk. Working from the top down on each plant, Halcyon and Primrose work side-by-side as Woodland prances back and forth through the garden. Each bloom deposited into one basket, with the stalks then carefully dug and pulled from the ground, separating the root from the plant. Everything neatly arranged in individual baskets, prim and proper, as always. In the Heavenly Meadow when these flowers would bloom, the clouds appeared to shimmer bright white. Things seemed… simpler then, if only due to a lack of conscious choice. But frolicking in the greenery with friends… or even those who should be more than friends, was a memory worth savoring.

      A few times Primrose and Halcyon would brush against the same plant, or have their arms meet for a brief moment. Both still raw with emotional energy, yet too afraid to continue where they’d left. Perhaps they each needed a break, and the space to breathe comfortably. There was no rush after all. If things went well… they could spend the rest of their lives together regardless.

      It took around an hour for the harvesting to finally be done, with the seeds in the air still accompanying the cherubuns. Primrose wipes his brow of sweat and places his shears into the root basket. Halcyon places the last of the blooms and stalk into their own baskets and looks out at the now empty rows where the winter’s tears had once occupied. Now only ambrosia was left to make before this generation would be put to final use.

      “Thank you.” Primrose says softly. “I appreciate your help with these plants, tending to them, harvesting them. By my side.”

      “Of course.” Halcyon says. There’s tension still between the two buns, but much less heavy than before. It seems only a small break would be what undoes it. Feelings of jealousy touched both buns in their own ways, with the longing for what others seem to have that they cannot, and for hoping that they would be each other’s person to finally experience what that could bring.

      “Halcyon, thank you for listening as well.” Primrose gathers up the baskets. “I know we were… interrupted, but I’d like to continue, if that’s alright with you.”

      Woodland returns to the pair, coat now fully covered in white seeds. Primrose chuckles as the uniqor picks up a basket around their neck and neighs. Halcyon smiles if ever so faintly.

      “I would… love to keep listening.” Halcyon wipes a stray tear from his eye. Though awkward with the baskets he’s carrying, Primrose reaches out to cup Halcyon’s face and look into his eyes.

      “I love…” The white cherubuns trails off. As if remembering where he is, Primrose blushes and takes his hoof back, adjusting the baskets in his arms. “Let’s… head to the workshop.”

      Halcyon nods, heart a flutter with hope yet again. Things would certainly be changing here soon, just as the winter’s tears would fall gracefully back to the earth to continue their edict of spreading new life. Maybe they could, too. Woodland leading the way, the group heads towards the exit of the greenhouse and towards their destinies.