I Owe You the World

Dear Lark,

It is almost your birthday. 

Around this time last year, I could hardly lift a pencil to make a shitty doodle, no matter how badly I wanted to. It was a mentally painful experience that turned into a physical resistance to actually sitting down to draw. I had been in this state since I graduated with an art degree nearly ten years ago. 

My wife, Hopeless and a few of our other friends convinced me to check out this really cool, new site, Succubuns, despite me putting up an initial fight. I had never really heard of arpgs before, and the idea of joining a community that revolved mostly around creative endeavors made me feel physically ill. But I joined on the 9th of March, 2023, and shortly thereafter, I was gifted my very first bun, Mercury. 

Slowly, I did my best to earn carats to buy my very first MYO slot, and I managed to produce the first piece of digital art in eight years that I was actually proud of. With that, I was finally able to purchase that Newbie Hell in a Handbasket. Little did I know that by creating you to fill that slot, I would be giving myself the key to finally fucking unshackle myself from the fear and the agony that came with the idea of making art that was never good enough. The idea that my art would never be good enough.

Through your creation, Lark, I rediscovered just how much joy drawing and writing brings me. I regained my confidence in trying to connect with like-minded people through creative endeavors. You made it easy to come up with stories, plots, headcanons-- You brought me back from endless days of spiraling thoughts that just got worse as I got older, and you let me daydream like I was a kid staring out the window in class, again. 

Lark, you helped me introduce myself to some of the most amazing people that have enriched my life ten-fold. You have busted doors to friendships wide open-- I don't think I've truly felt this loved and appreciated since my childhood. And for all of this, I am incredibly grateful.

A year ago, I was getting too comfortable waking up and living my life underwater. 

Now, I have been gifted back my love of creating, my eagerness to share stories, my ability to make friends, and the realization that this is what it felt like when I was happy. And in a way, I feel like you have gained yourself back alongside me. It hasn't been easy. The last 365 days have been scary, feeling my way out of the dark. But it's been easier with you there to encourage me.

So, happy birthday, Larkspur. I'm beyond happy to see all the outpouring of love for you during your time as the weekly spotlight bun. I am thankful to each and every person who took the time to draw you, regardless if they know anything about you or not.

Cheers to the next beautiful year spent in the light.

Submitted By LuridGhost for Succubun Spotlight ・ View Favorites
Submitted: 9 months and 5 days ago ・ Last Updated: 9 months and 5 days ago