Playing Catch-Up

Word of Pyrosis’ return to Burrowgatory proper had not taken long to reach Worldling at all. It seemed as though the moment he’d set foot back into his (now dusty) tower, she was clawing at the aged wooden door, begging to be let in.

It had only been two days since Pyrosis had tired of traipsing around Hell, and here Worldling was, inviting herself in. She was as she does, striking up a conversation with her old friend like no time had passed at all. Pleasant as the company might have been, Pyrosis had a lot to do in order to get settled– he hadn’t picked much up from the grocery store. Oh, well– at least he still had tea from… way back when.

“You’re not seriously going to serve me that, are you?” Worldling asked, seeing the way Pyrosis blew dust off the top of a box.

“Why not?” he replied. He pulled it open, and extracted two tea bags.

“Um, pretty sure those are a million years old.”

“Don’t tell me you’ve completely lost your sense of adventure,” Pyrosis teased. A small smile played at the corners of his lips as he deposited a tea bag each into two preset cups.

“Of course not!” Worldling crossed her arms defensively. “Fine! Give me the ancient tea. Better not be cursed.”

“If anything in my home is cursed, it is likely not the tea.”

“That is not as reassuring as you want it to be.”

“Who said anything about reassurance?”

The silver kettle (previously covered in dust; thoroughly washed the first night, and again that morning) began to whistle. Pyrosis used a dishcloth to take the handle and pour.

“I forgot to pick up any sugar when I went to the store,” he said, “so all I have is milk.”

“Mm, great,” Worldling said, tonally trying to hit a middle ground between grateful and sarcastic. She couldn’t stand bitter tastes.

“Relax. Dandelion root is known for its sweetness. Anyhow– like I said, I don’t have any particularly interesting stories about my time away. If you’d like, you can look over my journal that details the ingredients I’ve found and collected, but I can’t imagine you would be particularly interested.”

“How are you so old and so boring?” Worldling whined.

“They come as a package deal,” Pyrosis responded. “You, too, will find yourself tired of all the running and climbing.”

“I seriously doubt it.” Worldling rolled her eyes. 

“And you? How have you gotten along in my time away? I can’t help but notice that you, too, have returned to Burrowgatory.”

“Yeah, I came back a few months ago. I’m living at Abby’s tavern right now.” Worldling sipped her tea. Damn, Pyrosis was right– it was really good.

“And how is Abettance?”

“Painfully, painfully single. It breaks my heart, you know?”

“Is she looking?”

“That’s- well, it’s complicated.” Worldling sighed. Pyrosis brings his cup to his lips. “She really wants to be. Her standards are just stupid high. She complains all the time about not having a love life! And then she makes all these snap judgements about other people! It’s like, no one’s perfect, Abby! So, like, she wants to be looking– personally, I think that if you dismiss everyone before you’ve even said hello, you aren’t really looking.”

“Well, let her know I’m back in town,” Pyrosis said. “And that I’ve been… alone for quite a while.”

“I mean, I’d be happy to help you out with that,” Worldling flirted.

“Some other time, perhaps. I’m still getting settled.”

“Gotcha. Oh- oh! I can’t believe I didn’t lead with this.” Worldling put her cup down on the counter, with two sips gone, to be forgotten.

“Oh?”

“Okay, so, craziest shit ever just happened.”

“You don’t say.” Pyrosis sipped his tea again. Worldling said that about a lot of things, most of which turned out to be… underwhelming. Something about a friend of a friend sleeping with or backstabbing or keeping secrets from or something with some other person Pyrosis did not know. 

“No, no, look– for real.” Worldling dropped her voice low. “So, okay. Let’s start with the envy buns that turned up in April.”

“Envy buns?” Okay, colour Pyrosis intrigued. 

“Yeah, a new subtype,” Worldling confirmed. “The first envy bun to be found is a woman named Jackal. She’s all punk and rough edges, but super cool to be around. We don’t, like, hang out that often, but it’s sort of a friend-of-a-friend-of-a-friend situation, you know?”

“I’m familiar.”

“Right. So, at the beginning of the month, I was going to go to this party, right? But then at the last minute, the host cancelled. So I was like, fine, I’ll host. And then Abby said no, and cancelled the party. Well, Jackal didn’t get the memo that it was cancelled, and came into the tavern, anyways. But she didn’t wanna, like, pay for her drinks, because she thought it was a party, y’know? So Abby kicked her out.”

“The audacity,” Pyrosis gasped sarcastically.

“Yeah, yeah. Well, I felt bad, so I went after her. She said she was just going to go to Hops’, so I said that it was my bad, and that I’d cover for her for the night. But then, on our way there, we saw a mysterious flash of light.”

“Probably an alley fire,” Pyrosis said.

“No! No, no, no.” Worldling wagged her finger side to side, with a huge grin on her face. “It’s so much more interesting than that! It was a person!”

“Oh?” 

“Jackal called them Misty at first. Misty’s kind of weird-looking, but not in a bad way, you know? They have this big fluffy tail that’s probably just so soft, and they also don’t have any horns.”

“Like a child?”

“Sorta! But also no. Misty is a full-grown adult. We also found a real feather at the scene, which was so cool!”

“A feather?” Pyrosis repeated.

“Yeah, but a real one! Not, like, imp goo. It was like it came from a real-life creature, apparently! Anyways, so, we talked to Misty. Turns out, they’d lost all their memories! They went to stay at Jackal’s place, and Jackal and I went on a quest for answers.”

“Did you find any?”

“No!”

“I see,” Pyrosis said. “You’ve enticed me with this mysterious setup, only to leave me with no payoff.” Figures.

The sheer quantity of stories that Worldling told meant that some of them were actually incredibly interesting. This one, for example, had been shaping up to be quite the tale, alas-

“What? No, no, there’s payoff. Trust me.”

“Skip to the payoff, please.”

“Okay, so, Misty lost all their memories, right? Well, a couple of weeks later– like, four days ago, actually– them, Jackal, and I go back to where the glowing circle was. And Misty doubles over, and their head hurts and there’s a new feather, and suddenly they remember what they’re doing here! With a flash of light, a straight-up halo appears over their head! Can you believe that?!”

“Like- like an angel’s halo?” Pyrosis asked. 

“Yeah! How’d you know?”

“I’ve been around a long time, Worldling. I’ve heard stories.”

“Okay, cool, because this story only gets more insane.”

“How?”

Worldling giggled. “I’ll tell you!” There was nothing she loved more in the world than having someone’s rapt attention. “So, like, Misty has their memories back, and it turns out their real name is Dove. Dove holds up the new feather, and calls out, Melangel! I know what you did! Or something to that effect. And with a flash of light, the three of us are transported-”

“No.”

“Yes!”

“You’re lying to me.”

“I am not lying to you! I swear to Murmur, and all demons ever, that I was transported to the Heavenly Meadow.”

Pyrosis’ jaw dropped. He couldn’t believe it. The Heavenly Meadow was… was a story. He’d heard it once, maybe, such a long time ago! There was no way- and he had missed it?! He’d been out gathering exotic herbs, and had completely missed the once-in-a-lifetime chance to leave Hell.

“What was it like?” he asked.

“Oh, it sucked.” Worldling laughed loudly. “It was way too bright, and there was also this, like, general feeling of unease– of unwelcome, more like. Just, physiologically, you know? No succubun should be there. The sky was also super fucked up– it just went on and on, maybe forever. It was super stressful.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah, but, like, probably the most stressful part was when this huge gold-and-white entity came up and got into a straight-up screaming match with Dove! That was crazy. I thought I was going to get smote.” 

Worldling paused. 

“No grammar lesson?”

“Smote is correct.”

“Oh, cool! I was sure I got it wrong. Anyways, Melangel didn’t do that. Instead, they, like, slammed this big key into the ground and opened a door for any cherubun that wanted to go to Burrowgatory. Oh, a cherubun-”

“-is the name of the heavenly succubuns, I know,” Pyrosis interrupted. “The context clues did not fail me.”

“Cool. So, like… no one came with us– us being Jackal, Dove, and me,” Worldling continued, “but… I’m pretty sure it’s still an option. Because what Melangel did was really fucked up. They, like, kidnapped a dozen baby buns from the bunnery way back when.”

“Oh!” Pyrosis exclaimed. “I remember that debacle! In retrospect, it’s obvious. They found a real feather then, too.”

“They sure did- but about Melangel… So, succubuns apparently don’t do so well out of Burrowgatory– or maybe Hell in general.”

“Oh no?”

“Yeah. Apparently cherubuns only live to be ten years old.”

Pyrosis frowned.

“Yeah. And they also, like, told horror stories about Hell, like, the thought of being here was a threat.”

“What? Why?”

Worldling shrugged. “They called Jackal and I degenerates, too. I can’t speak for her, but that’s super fair about me.”

“I’ll say.”

“I dunno, the whole vibe was really… not good.” Worldling took on a more serious tone, and looked down and away. Pyrosis wracked his memory, trying to pinpoint a time in which Worldling had even been sombre. “And when Dove exposed the truth to all the other cherubuns, they all kinda started… fighting. I dunno. I think we’ll get a couple of cherubuns in Burrowgatory, probably, but maybe not for a hot minute.”

Pyrosis nodded.

“I kinda envy them, you know?” Worldling continued. She crossed her arms, and leaned back against the counter.

“Oh?” Pyrosis tilted his head.

“Maybe you’re the only person that would relate to this… The cherubuns are about to go on the adventure of all time. I just… it sucks that it’s under these circumstances. It sucks that it’s… so… permanent.”

“Are you alright?” 

“Hm? Yeah, I’m good. I’m good.” Worldling’s facial expression did not attest to that.

“...Honestly, I’m rather more envious of you. When will any succubun ever be able to get back into the Heavenly Meadow? I almost definitely won’t.”

“We live a long time,” Worldling said. “I’m sure you’ll go at some point.”

“Perhaps. But not anytime soon.”

A silence fell over the pair. Pyrosis thought back on Worldling’s confession. The wording of it was strange, he found; as though Worldling was bringing something unspoken to the conversation; but what it was, Pyrosis did not know.

“I think that the nature of adventure is to be changed,” he said, “permanently. If you are exploring, searching for meaning, identifying yourself; it should change you. There is no denying that this change will be difficult, long, and very rough; but I expect that most, if not all, fallen cherubuns will find that it is for the better in the long run.”

“You think so?”

“Of course. You said it yourself– we live a long time. There is no challenge that cannot be overcome.”

“Yeah… that’s probably true. It just… takes a minute, sometimes.”

“Exactly. Now, you mentioned envy succubuns? Is that story as interesting as the one you’ve just told?”

“I don’t think any story is as interesting as the one I just told,” Worldling replied. Her voice rose again– still a little almost-sad, but returning to normal with every syllable. “But! It’s still a story worth telling. So, it was April. The Hazeblooms were just about to blossom…”