Punks and Drunks

The Rabbit Hole was more crowded than even Andi could stand to deal with, but she wanted to get some drinks before heading home.  It had been a long day with so many clients…  As she hunted for a different bar, she texted Kaili to let her know.

‘Rabbit Hole packed’

‘gonna try 4 drinks elsewhere’

‘btw can u remind me tmrw 2 try 2 reschedule some of my clients?  got no one on mondays & 10 on tuesdays…  wnna b home w u sooner  :(’

Texts sent, she tried to pay more attention to her surroundings.  It felt like the whole of Burrowgatory knew about some secret holiday that she didn’t, with how packed everywhere she knew was, but eventually she found a bar that a less generous (...or perhaps simply more intelligent) bun might have described as ‘extremely sleazy’.

Tiredly, she went to sit on a stool at the bar, not paying anyone much attention beyond usual cursory glances.

“Go away.”

Perplexed, Andi looked over, noting the weird horns on the bun next to her, who was dressed in some kind of… fancy stuff, leather and shredded pants, and quite the scowl on their face.  “What?”

“You aren’t cool enough.”

Andi looked around, wondering if there had been a dress code she had missed.  Everyone in the bar did seem to look a certain way…  “Oh…  I guess I missed the dress code…”

The bun looked almost as confused as Andi felt, as she left, heading home.

Kaili stirred from her pillow pile when Andi came in, sleepily standing to follow her into the bedroom.  “No drinks?” she asked, a pout clear in her voice.

“Apparently I wasn’t dressed right?”  Andi shrugged her broad shoulders, glancing over her shoulder at her girlfriend.  “Rabbit Hole was too packed so I wound up at the only place I could find without a line straight to Murmur’s house, and then the bun there said I wasn’t cool enough, so I’m gonna change so I can get our drinks, though I might not be able to get them exact.”  She really wanted an angora sour bad now, though with it not being the Rabbit Hole, she wasn’t sure she could - too bad Hops’ Secret Ingredient had been out of stock lately.

“That’s incendiary!” Kaili declared.  “I shall not grant them mercy when I rise to claim my rightful place as the dark savior!”  As she ranted further, she shifted closer to the edge of the bed to watch Andi undress anyways, curious what outfits the place required.

Andi listened with half her attention.  Most of her clothes didn’t suit the vibe of that bar - they were all just workout clothes like what she had already been wearing, pretty much - but eventually she found some stuff.  There was a leather zip-up top she had gotten for Kaili in the wrong size.  It wasn’t exactly the right size on her, it didn’t even zip up on her, but it would work.  An old pair of jeans that didn’t quite fit right were easy for Andi to rip in the knees, and she did have a pair of black hiking boots that would have to do, and a spiked belt that she just wrapped around her bicep like a cuff, once she realized it wouldn’t fit her waist or hips.

How else had that bun looked…  She couldn’t do any ear piercings fast, plus that was a lot just to get some drinks from a place she didn’t exactly plan on going to more than once…  Makeup, though.  “Do you have any black makeup, my dark savior?” she asked, when she heard a pause in Kaili’s rant.

Kaili always was delighted to be addressed like that.  “I do,” she declared.  A yawn caught her.  “In the bathroom with all the rest, my faithful retainer.”  She slowly sprawled into the bed, cuddling with the phloof plushie Andi had made for her recently, quickly falling asleep.

Andi paused at the bed to press a kiss against her girlfriend’s forehead, then went into the bathroom.  She didn’t know much about applying makeup, but did her best to put on something that looked like what the bun with the weird horns had been wearing.

Soon enough, she was headed back out, and not long after, she sat back in the same barstool she’d sat in before.  “Am I cool enough now?”

The bun failed not to laugh, leaning over her drink.  “You tried, I’ll give you that.  Why’s the belt on your arm?”

Another bun behind the counter approached Andi.  “What do you want to drink?”

“Do you have angora sours and salty grogs?  Otherwise I guess one rum and one white wine to go?” Andi asked, as she handed over carats.  “And it’s not like it would fit my waist…”

The other bun laughed harder as the bun behind the counter nodded without answering and went to make some drinks.

“Why did you change just to order drinks to go?”  The bun had managed to stop laughing enough to wipe tears of laughter from her eyes.

“...didn’t I need to be dressed right to order?”

Andi and the other bun stared at each other for a long moment, before the other bun shook her head.  “I am not drunk enough to have this conversation.”  She snorted, took another look at the mess of makeup on Andi’s face, and dissolved back into helpless laughter.

Well, that made two of them who needed to be more drunk for this.  Andi paused the bartender, handing over more carats.  “Could I get a second sour actually?”

“Sure.”

The instant she had the first angora sour, she drained it, before taking the other two home, still confused.