Mixology 101: Relic

“Hello, Miss Hops! I hope I'm on-time!” 

A delightful little bell chimed as the front door swung open, and Hops got to take a look at the rabbit who had signed up for her class that day. Her name was Relic Lupine, and though Hops wasn’t sure how to place why, the rabbit she saw before her was pretty much exactly what she imagined when she had read that name.

Relic's dark brown eyes sparkled as she looked around the bar, despite having been there many times before, and her tail swished from side-to-side eagerly. Her mannerisms seemed an awful lot like an impup’s... Hops disregarded that thought fairly quickly with a wave of her hand. As long as she wasn’t barreling through the bar like a raging remil then it wasn't terribly important!

Hops gave her a small smile and began leading her to the back of the bar. “Oh, hello! You're not late, so don't worry!” 

Relic followed along with a bounce in her step, and somehow her eyes grew even wider and more delighted at getting to go behind the bar. She was taking in every detail, practically walking in a small circle as she examined any little thing that caught her eye. The colorful alcohol bottles seemed to interest her the most, but really anything shiny or pretty was enough to draw her attention.

Hops gave Relic a nudge with her shoulder and offered her a cocktail glass. “This isn't a museum! You're getting to actually make things here today too. So come on, let’s get started!”

A small part of Hops had been worried she wouldn’t be able to tear Relic's focus away from staring at the shelves, but surely enough, she took the cocktail glass and beamed, watching her movements with just as much excitement. She might normally take a little offense to the idea that she's just as interesting as unmoving, occasionally empty alcohol bottles, but she didn't get the sense that any offense was warranted this time.

Relic gently set her glass on the counter in-front of her. Her blue, crystalline hands were tipped in long, sharp claws, so she had to be very delicate with the glassware. She asked, “Okay! Uh, how do we start?”

“Well, let's start with a shaker! Here, you hold this,” She handed Relic a two-piece shaker, and watched as she tried to figure out how it worked.

Relic timidly examined all sides of the shiny metal tool, trying to piece together as much as she could about it before she made even the smallest movement. She tilted her head to the side and looked down expectantly at Hops, who nodded to encourage her to mess around with it a bit. 

Relic's ears laid back even further, a nervous look filled her eyes. She looked tense as she tried unscrewing it, to no avail. Huh… she'd always just kind of assumed they screwed shut, but it seemed that was wrong. Oh no… how was she supposed to get this open exactly?

Hops laughed a little at the visible confusion on Relic's face and pointed to one side of the tool. “It's not as tricky as you think, I promise! Just push the smaller can like this,” Hops mimicked the action Relic would have to take, but didn't actually push it open.

Relic did as she was told, and to her relief, the smaller can unsealed with a small pop sound. Hops reassured her, “Some shakers do untwist like you thought they were going to! This one doesn't, but you actually weren't as far off as you thought.”

That seemed to reassure her enough to restore some confidence, so Hops continued her explanation. She showed Relic how much ice to fill the larger can with, and how much liquor to place into the smaller one. Relic's worries seemed to fade away and she grew excited again, her tail wagging delightedly as things began to make more sense to her.

“Alright, now we close it up! You take that smaller can and pour it into the bigger one, then slot the two together. I'll show you a different method later, cause this one's not quite as good but it's got basically no risk of spilling everything.” Hops instructed, and Relic obeyed without any issue.

Hops showed her how to close it up properly, and shook it around gently to show that the seal wasn't budging. She held it, smaller can facing the wall behind her, and gave it another little shake to demonstrate. She handed it over to Relic, who copied her movements exactly, down to using almost no force in her shakes.

“Almost! But you gotta put some muscle into it, otherwise it won't work.” Hops looked at Relic’s claws, then at her muscular arms… she was definitely strong enough to manage it, that could be seen by so much as glancing at her. She seemed kind of skittish about actually putting all that strength to use…

Relic wasn't one to question an order in a class she'd paid to attend, though! Despite her hesitancy, she gave Hops a little salute and nodded. “Got it! Uhm, if you're sure it'll be okay… then alright!” She began to shake the can much more vigorously. 

The sound of the ice slamming into the metal was quite loud, given it was being shaken right next to Relic’s left ear. She seemed intrigued by the sound instead of frightened, her eyes lighting up and a curious look spreading across her face.

Hops gave her a thumbs-up, “Perfect! It's been twelve seconds so you can stop now.”

Relic set the shaker down and excitedly opened it back up. She looked at the frothy liquid inside with wonder.

“The next step is to pour it into a glass. We don't want all that leftover ice to come with, so we use a strainer!” As Hops pulled one out, she explained, “You’ll want the glass we pour it into to be pre-chilled for the real deal if possible, but this is just for practice, so that one I gave you earlier works fine for right now.” 

As Relic used the strainer and poured the drink, her tail began to wag. Once she was done she held the glass up to eye-level and inspected it, swirling it around carefully just to watch the way the light bounced off of it. She asked, “Do you shake every drink?”

“That's a good question! No, I don't shake all of them, sometimes I stir them instead. It's pretty complex whether you stir or shake, and sometimes you need to shake a drink twice… But the safest assumption to make is that if a drink is clear, you stir it. If it has citrus and it's not clear, you shake it!” Hops said as she rifled through her cabinet, before pulling out a spoon with an incredibly long handle.

Relic tilted her head to the side and asked, “Is that what we stir with?”

“Yes, precisely!” Hops grabbed another glass and giggled, “You're catching on pretty quick!” 

She grabbed a bottle of something clear- vodka, specifically- and then set the spoon into the glass. She continued explaining, “You always want to put the spoon in before the ice. It won't ruin the drink if you don't or anything, it's just a convenient habit to get into. It's not fun to try to maneuver a big spoon around chunks of ice!” 

Relic nodded, watching her movements intently. She kept quiet, as she was clearly focusing hard on getting down exactly what Hops was doing, to a T.

Hops stirred the drink for a few seconds, “You don't wanna use your wrist a lot, it's all in the fingers! Your claws might make getting the right grip on the spoon a bit tricky, but I’ve seen plenty of people make it work, so, try not to get discouraged! I'm sure it'll be just fine if you're careful.” 

She offered the glass over to Relic, who took it and began copying her technique. She did, as Hops had guessed, struggle a bit with holding the spoon in a way that would let her avoid using her wrist to stir, but she managed it after a bit of maneuvering to get a comfortable grip. She breathed a sigh of relief once she'd found something that actually worked- it'd be so morbidly embarrassing if she got this far and then floundered here. 

“There you go! That’s perfect. That keeps the drink clear, doesn’t let it get cloudy.” Hops gave Relic an enthusiastic pat on the back for figuring out that little bump in the road.

Relic beamed, pointy canine fangs poking out from her upper lip as she smiled wide. Hops figured she probably should've been intimidated by that sharp-toothed grin, but it was hard to muster any fear in the face of someone so excitable and bouncy, even if she had fangs, claws, and a grip strong enough to crush an apple bare-handed.

Relic asked, “Do we strain it this time too?”

“Yep! That lets us separate this volume out into individual shots, too. Most people probably can't handle this much straight vodka… and honestly, if they're confident they can, it probably means they've already had a bit too much.” She handed the strainer to Relic and giggled, “I don't judge customers who end up outdoing themselves, of course! I just can’t help seeing it coming for some requests people make…”

Relic nodded, her face lighting up bashfully as she began to speak, “That makes sense! I actually, uh… am not super familiar with alcohol yet. I- uh-” She looked down, avoiding eye contact as she began straining the drink and continued, “In all honesty, I wanted to learn cause I wanted to impress… a couple of people…”

Hops's eyes lit up in intrigue. “Ooh? Do you mean like, general people, or some specific people?” Her tail swished back and forth, just like how a furdin's might right before they pounced on a toy.

“Uh...Specific… people…” Relic couldn't help thinking about Eg and Chatter, and crumbling a bit under Hops’s knowing gaze. Bartenders do stereotypically end up with people's secrets! But usually they get at least one drink in before spilling, she was completely sober! Relic couldn't help it, though, she hadn't told anyone as all her friends knew those two and might tell!

“Hey, don't worry! Your secret is safe with me. I overhear or even get blatantly told tooons of that kind of stuff every day, most of it usable as blackmail material! So like, learning something actually cute and harmless is always a fun change of pace.”

Relic nodded timidly, “Ah! T-thank you… I appreciate it.”

“Of course!” Hops patted her on the back again, partially for a drink well-stirred, and partially to help reassure her that having a couple of little crushes really wasn’t all that embarrassing. Especially not when just the previous night alone she’d heard more than a few buns drunkenly confess to bedroom shenanigans that would make a demon blush… elaborating on that would probably only fluster Relic more, though, so she had opted not to.

She grabbed a little bag from underneath the counter- it was pink with purple spots and tied up nicely with black string. She showed it to Relic and grinned gleefully, “This is my secret ingredient! You can have this one for free to experiment with at home. It's not too difficult to use, you just sprinkle it in and it'll… enhance the magic power of anything you use it in. I know that you're already familiar with my special drinks, so I suppose I don't have to explain that! Just be careful, and remember you can always come here for a Drabsinthe to fix you- or anyone else- up if things go wrong, okay?”

“Okay! Thank you, Miss Hops!”

“No problem!” She grabbed a few sheets of recipes and handed them over with the special ingredient. “I think that’s all I have to show you for right now, but you’re free to come back and learn more anytime, m’kay?”

“I… probably will end up needing to take you up on that offer, yes! Have a nice afternoon, and good luck with the upcoming rush.”

“Thank you! And good luck with your little crushes-” 

Relic squeaked and hid her face behind the sheets of recipe paper. She darted out of the bar quickly, but she giggled as she left, seeming quite enthused by the ordeal instead of genuinely stressed. 

Left alone in her bar again, Hops got to work cleaning up and restocking anything she was low on. She came to a realization and sighed, kicking herself mentally for not thinking of it sooner.

“I should’ve asked that strong lady to help with these boxes while I had her here…”