[Comm] DILLIGENCE CHAPTER I

It was a lovely, warm morning in Burrowgatory.  The crystals that lit up the demonic underground were a particularly bright shade of pink and blue today, casting their almost sunny luminescence down on the homes and residents that dotted the landscape.  Buns everywhere were seizing the day, heading out to enjoy the mock-sunshine and make the best of the delightful weather, either by partying it up, going out to places of pleasure and business, or simply lounging about with a glass of alcohol outdoors.

Trump surveyed the scene from his balcony through squinted eyes.  How positively abysmal, he thought.  Good thing he didn't have to deal with any of that.

Trotting back indoors, he swiftly drew the curtains, plunging his burrow back into darkness as he blinked light motes from his eyes.  No, partying and sunshine wasn't his style, especially not in this weather.  Visiting acquaintances?  Not in this heat.  Consuming excess drinks?  Well... perhaps a little sinnamon whiskey wouldn't go amiss... but if he was going to partake it certainly would not be outdoors.

He looked over at the alcohol cabinet and made his way over to it in the darkened room, kicking the empty beer cans and take-out boxes that littered the floor aside.  He'd told Bev to clean them up days ago but well... trusting Bev to pull his weight around the house was like wishing on stars.  And last he’d checked there were no real stars down here in Burrowgatory.

Drink poured and held loftily in his cloven paw, Trump watched the whiskey’s flames swirl about before he blew them out and took a languid sip.  Unsurprisingly it went down like the fire it was.  He hopped into his armchair and whipped out his phone, ready for another 5 or so hours of Carrot Clicker.

A bright Burrowgatory day?  Feh.  He didn't need it when everything he wanted to deal with was right here in his burrow. A shot or two, a video game to marathon, and Bev somewhere out of the house and out of sight.  He had no idea where the lust bun had gotten to today.  And right now he didn’t care.

He was just about to beat his record for number of taps in an hour when the door burst open with a loud bang, startling him into dropping the phone as it was chased by the sound of Bev’s agonizingly familiar and overconfident voice.

“TRUMPY!  HEY!  You’re still home?  Good!  Come with me.”

The prideful succubun looked up in irritation as his score multiplier dwindled rapidly back down to zero, scowling as Bev seized his paw and pulled him out into the bright Burrowgatory mock-sunlight.  Shielding his eyes, he shook the other bun off and rubbed at his wrist.

“Do I even want to know what sort of scheme you’ve cooked up and roped me into?” he growled as Bev looked at him with a mischievous grin and a gleam of determination in his eye.

“I’ll tell you along the way!  C’mon Trumpy I need you and we’re gonna be late if you don’t come with me now.  I’m not doing this all by myself.”  Bev peeked up at him, wide eyed as a pleading impup, before seizing Trump’s paw in both of his own in an attempt to drag the bigger succubun along.

“Maybe if you told me what this was, first.”  Trump replied, doing his best to resist by digging his hooves into the dirt path.

Bev huffed in annoyance, finally letting go to cross his arms matter-of-factly.  “We’re gonna be gardening!”  He crowed proudly.  “Well.  You’re gonna be gardening.  I’m here to watch and observe and maybe help out if I feel like it.”

Trump frowned.  “Of course you are.”  He said dryly.

“We were invited specially, of course.”  The lustful bun continued, beginning to meander down the path again as though trying to coax Trump to follow if he wanted answers.  He grinned over his shoulder as the other succubun took the bait with a defeated sigh.  “All it took was a little phone call and a quick chit chat with Prim and bam!  We got an appointment to visit the Cherubun greenhouse gardens, just like that.”

Trump’s brow furrowed.  “We’re going to the Embassy?  To do their gardening?”

“We are going to help them grow their heavenly flowers to brew into ambrosia.”  Bev corrected him.  “Isn’t that exciting?  Aren’t you even the least bit curious about how it tastes?”

The prideful succubun thought about that for a moment before turning around and taking a step back the way they had come.  “I’m not helping you smuggle ambrosia to sell on the black market or whatever you want to do with it.  No crime for me.”

Bev whined from somewhere behind him, scurrying up to grab his tail and give it a hard yank to stop him in his tracks.  

“It’s not the ambrosia I’m after!!  Promise!!!  Well… maybe a little bit but.  Will you let me explain?”  He took a deep breath as Trump snatched his tail back and raised an eyebrow, waiting for an answer.  “Look, one of those funny little virtues hangs out around the embassy.  It’s called Diligentia.  I want one.”

“You’ve given up on trying to catch the other one in the garden, haven’t you.”  The prideful bun smirked.  “Patentia, was it?  It must really hate you if doing free labor for the cherubuns sounds like a more rewarding idea.”  His grin only widened as Bev’s tail flicked in annoyance.

“Think about what a diligent virtue could do for us though Trump!”  the smaller succubun shot back, choosing to ignore his hurtful words.  “No more dusty shelves!  No more pizza boxes and beer around the house!  A clean dustbin!  Those virtues have a track record for the perfect work ethic!  We’d never have to tidy the house again!”

Trump scratched his chin thoughtfully.  Having someone else take care of the burrow while he lounged about drinking and gaming all day?  That didn’t sound like such a bad idea…

“Alright.”  he sighed, turning his gaze towards the embassy in the distance.  “Lead the way then.  If it means we’ll get a free housekeeper, I guess I’m willing to put in a little effort…”

With his feet only dragging a little bit, he trailed behind Bev and let the other succubun yammer away about this and that and everything under the sun that he was going to get their new virtue to do for him once it was finally in their possession.  A few days of work in exchange for a lifetime of minion servitude… what a dream it could be…

He was making his way up the embassy steps when someone clearing their voice loudly in front of him made him look up.  Bev was standing somewhat sheepishly next to a fluffy and incredibly irritated looking golden cherubun, whose little arms were crossed in an expression of utmost displeasure.

“You are late.”  Primrose sneered.  “When I said over the phone that your appointment was at two thirty exactly, I meant exactly.  Not two thirty five.  I was beginning to wonder if you’d arrive at all.”

Trump was about to ask what had his knickers in such a twist, but Bev quickly stepped on his hoof to silence him before he could open his mouth.  Primrose wheeled around, tucking his paws behind his back after beckoning them to follow him into the building, his fluffy little tail waggling in haughty indignation.

So much for getting off on the right foot with the cherubuns.

“Bite your tongue and do not ruin this for us!”  Bev hissed at him as they followed Primrose through the embassy halls and out towards the greenhouses.  The cherubun was pointing things out as they went; what went on in which buildings, the number of tasks the two succubuns would need to help with, how it was truly a pleasure that they were willing to learn about cultivating the gardens and how their help was definitely appreciated as the cherubun count in Burrowgatory was still quite low.

“Your task for today is to help assist in planting new blooms in the greenhouses… let me direct you to this first one on the left here.”  Primrose lifted a paw, gesturing for the two to go ahead towards a beautiful building made of clear and stained glass, the joinery ornate and gilded holding the wide panes together.  It all but sparkled beneath the mock-sunshine that the crystals of light were giving off today.

Primrose cleared his throat again, noticing Trump gawking, pushing a trowel and gloves into his hands.  “If I may have your attention?” he huffed.  “Do you need me to repeat your instructions while you pick your jaw up off the floor?”

Trump remembered Bev’s pleas to keep things civil as he pulled on the gloves and took the trowel from Primrose’s paw.  “I’d.  Appreciate that.”  He mumbled awkwardly, as Primrose pushed open the greenhouse door and led them to an empty plot of soil.  Somehow it was even warmer in here than outside the glass building, making Trump scratch a little at his shaggy fur.

The cherubun nodded curtly, gesturing to the dirt patch.  “Very well.  You will be helping us plant ambrosia seeds today.  There is a bench over there that contains a few seedlings that our last gardener hasn’t had the time to plant yet, please take care of those first.  And as for the seeds themselves, do not even think of tasting them or any of the young plants…  If I recall they’re similar to that Hazebloom flower your kind is fond of growing.  You’ll experience no effects until the plants are fully grown and they are very delicate.”  He threw a severe look at the two succubuns.  “Should you damage any of our precious blooms in any stage of growing, I promise you the consequences will be dire.  And I will be sure to check your pockets and belongings for any plant matter before you leave too.  I would like to think the two of you are not ruffians but well…” he sniffed a little, looking down his nose at them.

Out of the corner of his eye, Trump saw Bev’s expression fall a little.  The jab aside, he knew the other bun must have wanted to spirit a seed or two away for personal cultivation.  That or to sell on the black market somewhere.  With Bev it could go either way… but while they were here it was probably best not to upset Primrose more than they already had.

The cherubun was clearing his throat again, noticing both succubuns were clearly having wandering thoughts.  “If you would please accompany me to the table there…”  He led the duo over to where a batch of softly shimmering seedlings were resting in a gilded tray.

Trump couldn’t help but admire them, as strange as they were.  Each little plant shone with an odd ethereal light despite the sunshine, smelling soft and fragrant despite the fact that it was far too early for them to be putting out flowers at this stage.  There was something so alien to them and yet… surprisingly lovely.  No small wonder buns had tried to make off with them to grow in their own homes.

These were what ambrosia was made of?  The allure of getting to taste the strange heavenly elixir was really starting to dig its claws into him.  Perhaps the cherubuns would part with some if he really did do his best?  Bev too?  He rubbed his chin thoughtfully.

All afternoon, Primrose instructed the two succubuns on how to tend the greenhouse gardens.  First the succubuns were required to till the soil to a loamy softness, then water the beds to make them easier to work with.  Digging the holes for the saplings required a different depth than digging the holes for the seeds themselves, and by Primrose’s order, each type of flower had to be placed with others of its kind, specifically in a softly glittering rainbow order.  He was listing off the names of each type of seed they planted, but neither Trump nor Bev could get their heads around how long and ornate and strange sounding they all were.

Under the cherubun’s watchful eye and perfectionist guiding paw, Bev and Trump found themselves actually putting in the hard work!  There was no room for error beneath Primrose’s gaze, no room for laziness with how the cherubun would make them redo any planting he found sloppy.  But as the cavern’s crystals began to dim for the day, Bev and Trump found themselves covered in dirt, their backs and arms aching from the manual labor they hadn’t expected they’d actually be willing to do.

Primrose was kind enough to hand them both a soft, moist towel to scrub the worst of the dirt from their fur.  “Very well done, my friends.”  The cherubun’s saintly manner had returned as he looked proudly over the freshly turned garden bed.  “That is all for today, you may return to your… vices.”  The little frown on his lips faded as he presented them both with a small bag of carats.  “I’ll admit, you’ve impressed me with today’s work… I suppose looks can be deceiving after all!  Here, a little reward for the both of you.  Go buy yourself a coffee for a job well done and I’ll see you again tomorrow.”

Ignoring the backhanded compliment, Trump thanked the cherubun and dragged a very exhausted Bev off to Paradise Cafe for the sweetest, fluffiest, most caffeinated drinks Beanie had to offer.  Neither bun was looking forward to the walk back home, and a shot of coffee would be more than welcome for finding the energy to do so.

They sat in silence, taking slow sips of the hot beverages, letting the caffeine hit seep into their bones.

“Trump…?”  Bev looked up at the prideful bun apologetically.  “I didn’t think when I signed us up for this that he’d work both of us like impups.”

Trump looked over at him after taking another long, slow sip of his latte.  “My dear Bev.”  He was smiling, but the bags beneath his eyes had never looked darker.  “The only thing I can say to you is that you promised me a lifetime of housekeeping and I expect you to keep your word.”

Bev chuckled weakly.  “I feel like I’ve done a lifetime of housekeeping and it’s only been one day.”

Both succubuns looked at one another from across the table, tired and worn and grubby.  But judging from the look in one another’s eyes, each knew the other was thinking the exact same thing.

This diligentia had better be worth it!

~ FIN