stirred not shaken

“And people like these?” Bex asks, holding an empty martini glass in both hands. In her pocket, Memmy peers out to watch the thrum of movement in this space behind the bar. 

“Yes! You wouldn’t believe how many people order them in a day,” Hops swirls around the bar, several bottles in her arms. “It’s abso-lutel-y one of my biggest sells; everyone loves a good Keratini. It’s good, I promise.”

Bex shrugs, setting a martini glass to the side to scoot a bottle away from a dangerous edge. With the now-free hand, she scoops Memmy out of her pocket and onto her shoulder. “I’m just not a huge fan of olives. And vermouth… I mean, it’s such low proof. Comparatively.”

“It’s not allll about proof! And 30 proof is nothing to scoff at for most buns.” She sticks her tongue out at Bex, grabbing a scoopful of ice and dashing it into a glass. “Not all of us can be Ms. Heavyweight, you know? Aren’t I right, Memmy?” She motions to the phloof, who, of course, peeps happily and without a single thought in his mind. “He thinks I’m right.”

“Of course, of course,” Bex agrees. “I’m sure he does.” She sets the second martini glass down, moving over to more effectively peer over Hops’ shoulder. Memmy does the same.

She’s technically paying for these lessons, after all. Though it was less like a conscious purchase and more a leverage of all the money she’s saved Hops from losing over the last few weeks their schedules have been aligning. After that first almost disastrous whiskey incident, Bex has kept a close eye on the clumsy bartender whenever she saw her. And for good purpose too, with how many things she’s kept from falling over.

Honestly, if Hops wasn’t so cute, Bex would wonder how she wasn’t fired quite yet.

Though, her drink skills were also something to behold. Almost effortlessly, Hops measures out an exact amount of the bottle into the shaker. 

“So, about one fourth part dry vermouth,” she says. “And then the other parts are gin! And my secret ingredient, of course. That, you sprinkle in quite carefully.” 

While she’s pouring, all traces of that classic clumsiness seem to fade away. It’s just Hops with a single eye screwed almost shut and her tongue poking ever-so-slightly out of her mouth facing down a glass with exacting purpose.

“Damn,” Bex muses. “You’ve been doing this for a while.”

“Yeppers!” Hops says, turning around to face Bex to respond. This, of course, causes one of her ears to swing wildly into a bottle at the side of the bar. Hops manages to catch this one herself this time, laughing as she does. “And that’s been happening pretty much the entire time as well!”

“You don’t say,” Bex teases. Memmy gets a bit restless at his perch, and travels down Bex’s arm to perch himself on the bar. He likes to watch processes, whether it be bartending or cooking or even doing dishes. “Well, what do you do once you have all the ingredients in the ice?”

“Well,” she starts, moving the iced glass next to one of the empty martini glasses. “We don’t serve this one over ice. And even though some people think they’re too cool for a regular Keratini, the best way to serve it is stirred, not shaken.”

“Some people want it the other way?”

“Yeah, no clue why. It’s just like, objectively worse,” Hops complains, using a stick to stir the drinks and ice together. “You stir it, then strain it into the martini glass. You don’t want any of the ice to get into it.”

Bex nods, watching again the dexterity that seems to mysteriously appear whenever Hops gets her hands on something to pour. Memmy is watching as well, enraptured. 

“Then you gotta make it look nice! I always do the little olives, a little lemon around the rim. And of course, you gotta use the special martini glasses for Keratini’s,” Hops taps the little glass tentacles around the rim of the glass. “They’re one of our signature drinks, of course! Angora thought it was a really good idea when I suggested we get custom glasses!”

“Did she take it out of your paycheck?” Bex raises an eyebrow with a wry smile.

“Well…. Maybe partially.” Hops chuckles, only slight embarrassment tinging her grin. “Most of it was paid for by her, but I spent my own money on the prototype. It was just too cool of an idea to let go, you know? And now I really rarely use the plain boring martini glasses.”

Bex reaches over, picking up one of the empty glasses and twisting it around in her hand. “Yeah. I do have to admit it seems pretty worth it. Makes you one step ahead of the competition, you know? Memorable drinks.”

“Exactly!” Hops nods so hard and fast that her horn jewelry jangles loudly. Memmy switches his gaze quickly up to stare at it. “Though, I don’t really care about the competition! I just want them to remember having the coolest drink in their life here, you know? If I cared that much about competition, would I really be teaching you my secret drinks?”

Bex laughs, scooping Memmy up to put him back in her pocket as Hops begins to clear the area. “I guess you make a good point. Though I’m not particularly the kind to try and run a rival bar in this part of town. This is more just for me.”

“You do seem like the type to own a bar though,” Hops says. “Like, I could see it.”

“Too much hands-off work,” Bex says. “Not really like me to delegate and just leave other people to do what needs to be done.”

“What, like Angora letting me bartend?” Hops teases with a peal of laughter. “How dare you, Bex, I’m very offended.”

“Why would I need to worry about you bartending?” Bex teases back. “Are you claiming the shoe fits?”

“Maybe, maybe.” Hops laughs, lightly tapping Bex in her shoulder as she squeezes past her. “Anyways, since you aren’t making an evil rival bar with these recipes, do you want to know another one? Maybe one you’ll actually drink, and not just complain about the olives in?”

“You know what, sure. You have what you need to make a Peach Hellini?”

“Oh, I knew you were a Peach Hellini bun! Drinking Clawdka’s every night, for shame. Yeah, I can show you that one! First, you have to get….”

And they spent the next few hours working on various drinks together, Bex almost forgetting that one of her initial impressions of Hops was just how well she could try and scam her.