Cookie Jar, Donation Box

Mercy is often the picture of perfection when one would imagine an upstanding member of the Church. They never did wrong by their fellow bun, always helping anyone that sought their guidance. But given the nature of Burrowgatory and it's indulgence in sin, some things were always present. Namely, the sin oriented horns adorning each and every bun that emerged from Bunnery. While these were not always a solid indicator of ones choice in sinful behaviour, Mercy was able to fly under the radar despite their greed coded horns. That is. Until today. 

Darlet was not one to tattle, nor was he one to care about theft most times. But when he arrived to speak to Oleander after the choirs practice, he saw something he was certain was not for his eyes. Mercy was wrist deep inside of the churches daily donations. This was not being done in a 'I'm counting these for church reasons' way, but rather a manner of 'I'm filling my pockets before I disappear forever'. He was not fully sure what to say to them, but they seemed to beat him to the punch. "Hello my child. Is there something you needed?" They casually lifted their hand from the carats, refusing to acknowledge what both of them clearly knew was just happening. 

"Uh. Oleander?" Darlet leaned in and looked around the room, making sure Mercy was the only one present. "But uhm. I'm guessing he's busy in someone else right now. So uhh. What's up?" He leaned against the doorframe, a clawed hand on his hip as he smiled sweetly to Mercy's utter disappointment. "You got a bill due or something? Or is this how you collect your paychecks? No judgment, just curious is all." He couldn't help but find incredible irony in the most beloved member of the church also being their number one profit sink. He guessed that was the perk of being delegated the check book. 

Mercy clasped their hands together calmly, considering their next words very precisely. "My child. What I do with the churches finances are none of your business. The donations amassed by our devout community is wealthy and plentiful. My act is not in ill will towards our patrons, but a testament to our teachings. I take enough to indulge in my sins, whilst leaving our church it's healthy sum." They approached Darlet with soft steps, graceful as ever with their presentation. "And I do much more than enough for Oleander that justifies my claim. You must understand, he is not the most fiscally aware of us. That is why I am trusted to the finances of the church." They place a gentle hand to Darlet's shoulder. 

Darlet couldn't help but laugh at the attempt to spin the stealing of church donations as a justified action. But he must admit, Mercy was a damn good salesperson. Perhaps that was their job before the church? Who could tell. "Look. I don't really care about you stealing. But like, Oleander promised me some of the communion wafers since I didn't really feel up to sucking dick after the service. I figured he'd be back by now, but as we know he isn't the type to tire out quickly." He moved away from Mercy to examine the room some, finding a box laying on a shelf by a stack of old looking scrolls and scriptures. He held the dull yellow Nilla Wafer box up to show his proof. "Bingo. Hey. You mind if I take these? I won't say anything about your scandalous cash funneling if I can take some scandalous bodies of Murmur." 

Mercy's face seemed to turn a dark shade of red. Their composure beginning to crumble at just how stupid everything about this situation was. "Okay. Fine. Take your cookies and go. If I find you said anything to anyone about this, I will grind your bones and make my own communion wafers. Do not disappoint me." They walked briskly out of the room. Leaving Darlet to his own devices inside the office. 

Darlet opened the wafer box and began to fish inside for a cookie. His eyes wandered to the unattended donations, still out where Mercy had left them before storming off. He looked out to the door briefly before reaching his own cookie welding hand into the pot, snagging a few loose carats for himself. "Don't mind if I do."