Soulmates & Dates

If you were to ask Lucius why he’s even here in the first place, he doubts that he could even give a good answer to that. No really, he’s serious in the fact that he’s probably easier to get in bed than to do anything else with. Some would say that it’s a character flaw but Lucius himself would say that he’s living his best life. 

Satin is not pleased when he tells her that though. If anything, she’s mildly perplexed that someone like him would be single for this long. “Well that won’t do,” Satin simply says. “At least come here so I can see if there’s anything I can do, or well, why are you here?” 

He shrugs. “Curiosity mostly. Also because I thought you’d like the fact that we’re stuck in the same spot. Single but I wouldn’t say that I’m itching for company.” 

Instead, she hands him a thick questionnaire. It’s pages and pages thick and the more he flips through the pages, the questions seem to grow. By the time that he gets to the end, he’s gone through thirty-five pages. 

“I’d like you to complete this, maybe we’ll be able to find out what type of bun you’d enjoy spending time with.” 

Here’s the thing, Lucius is pretty sure that it’s not the other bun’s problems that makes him horribly single. No, he’s pretty sure it’s a problem with him instead because intimacy scares the shit out of him. Doing everything with no strings attached at least means that he knows what he’s into.  All the same, he starts to fill in the questionnaire one question at a time – some of the multiple choice questions baffling him especially in regards to how he would like to spend his time. Does he admit to following idol buns? If so, how much? Thanks he’d rather not. 

“Out of curiosity Satin, how honest should I be on this?” he prompts, a bit sheepish. Look he’s the one who takes confessions rather than the one actually doing the confessions. It’s not like he has much to admit in the first place. 

She only looks at him funny but then again, they don’t know each other that well. “As honest as you can be or are willing to be.”

Still, part of him doesn’t want to exactly trouble her with finding a match given that his other friends have tried and all of them have ended in various degrees of not working out well.  However, he can recommend buns to each other and they’ll have better odds than he will. 

He reaches the fifth page and all of the words are blurring together. Except the question about a flaw in a partner that he would never date makes him pause. Lucius has no idea how to fill this question in so he does the one thing that he knows how to do best: 

“How do most buns answer the question about a turn off?” he finds himself asking. Satin blinks. 

“The best answer I can say is that it depends. It really depends though common answers seem to be about having too much of an ego or too little,” she muses. It does not give him the answer that he seeks. 

Lucius stares at the question as if he’s expecting the words to change. Instead he simply writes down: not willing to deal with loud music playing. In a way it’s true considering how he spends his time listening to music instead of attempting to learn what new teachings that the Church requires him to preach. 

“Ah,” he replies. “I’ll figure the rest of this out on my own then. But does it have to be this long?” 

“Oh you’d be surprised by how many buns there are in Burrowgatory nowadays and how difficult matchmaking can be.” Satin simply tells him as if it’s the most obvious thing ever in Burrowgatory. In a way she’s right. 

“Then how many clients do you usually get?” he then asks because he’s nosy. Really, Lucius wants to get to know her better than for her to find him a partner or partners. “Matchmaking ought to be fairly popular–” 

“Especially during Matentines,” she finishes for him with a smile. “That’s the busiest time and it’s always so much fun to see who ends up meeting with whom! Then there’s what comes out of the relationships.” 

“I think you’d like following idols,” he mumbles only for her to perk up at the mention. 

“Finish your questionnaire and then you can tell me all about it. Is it a lot of relationship speculation?” 

“Well, most of the idols in their groups are fairly close,” he can easily answer while not really thinking about what he’s writing in the questionnaire. Really, Lucius isn’t learning much about himself but learning more about Satin is more interesting than trying to find a partner. “It means you can get a lot out of it if you’re a romantic.” 

“Interesting. Oh! I should ask, are you planning on joining in on Matentines this coming year?” Satin then asks. “You can give me back the questionnaire at that time if it makes your life a bit easier. I’ll match you then.” 

Ah, he can’t say no to her. Funny how that is even though he’s mostly doing this because he can. “Sure. Yeah I’ll toss myself in for matchmaking for Matentines because why not.” 

Satin beams and Lucius considers that this visit wasn’t for nothing. The questionnaire sits heavy in his hand as he leaves though. What has he roped himself into?