Tranquility

Silvanus had taken care to select a thick, fleecy blanket to combat the chilly air and the coolness of the ground for today. He spread it carefully on the grass, smoothing it down so that none of the crinkly, browning plant material poked through, ensuring a comfortable place to sit. Once the blanket was in place, he laid out a selection of wrapped sandwiches and a container of fruit salad, arranging them in the center and then taking a seat on one side to wait for Dove.

Before long, he caught sight of them entering through the cemetery gate with a covered basket in tow, and he waved to catch their attention. They waved back brightly, then closed the gate behind them and hurried up the path to where Silvanus sat. “Hi, Silv!” They greeted him somewhat breathlessly. “I hope I didn’t keep you waiting long!”

“Not long,” he reassured them. “Sit down, catch your breath.”

They did so, though they only paused for a moment before uncovering the contents of their basket and bringing out a covered dish of pastries, a thermos, and two sturdy-looking cups. They set their offerings on the blanket alongside the food that Silvanus had put out.

“Everything looks great!” They said, flashing him a smile. “Here- I brought some tea. It should still be nice and hot.” They picked up the thermos and deftly unscrewed the cap, then filled both cups with steaming tea. “I sweetened it ahead of time so that I didn’t have to carry as many extra things - I hope you don’t mind.”

“I don’t mind,” Silvanus said, taking his cup in both hands and letting it warm his hooves for a minute before taking a sip. The warmth spread from his throat throughout his chest and stomach, a pleasant contrast to the cool early-winter weather. Dove did likewise with their own tea, letting out a small, satisfied sigh after the first drink.

Silvanus had left his pets inside his cottage, but they had their own imp-sized door to come and go through. Thus, it didn’t take very long for some of them to arrive at the picnic blanket, drawn by the scent of food. Silvanus gently shooed them away, but his guyst, Amaranth, hovered over his shoulder, waiting for an opportunity to attempt to steal a treat.

“So you’ve started collecting these little guys, huh?” Dove asked, raising one hand to welcome Lachesis as it hovered near them much the way that Amaranth was by Silvanus.

“They mostly showed up of their own accord, but I put out food for them, so they’ve stayed around,” Silvanus admitted. Dove flashed him an amused, but understanding, smile.

They fell into comfortable silence for a little while, sampling the sandwiches, fruit salad, and Dove’s pastries. Silvanus had always enjoyed that about Dove’s company; they never felt the need to fill every silence with chatter. He did catch them from the corner of his eye, feeding Lachesis bits of pastry when they thought he wasn’t looking, but he didn’t call them out on it.

At length, Dove did speak. “I was surprised to see you show up at the Embassy,” they remarked. 

There was a question there, hovering unspoken behind their actual words. Silvanus knew what it was, and he understood why. Many cherubuns could be called uptight, as an inevitable result of their upbringing; Silvanus didn’t consider himself as such, but he was set in his ways and slow to change. Why had he, of all buns, abandoned the Heavenly Meadow? Why make such a drastic choice?

He considered his own words for a while before answering. “I suppose I just looked around me one day and realized how many others were gone,” he said finally. He didn’t socialize much, but he’d still had friends and loved ones, and little by little, they’d started to trickle away. They disappeared through the door that led from the Heavenly Meadow to the world below, and by Melangel’s decree, they would never come back.

“We spent our entire lives thinking that our way - Melangel’s way - was the only way. That if there was ever a problem, it was with us, not the way things were.” Silvanus swirled the cooling tea in his cup, gazing contemplatively into it for a few moments before taking another sip. “When you came back, when you revealed where we came from and challenged Melangel, it changed everything. They could say that it was for the best, but… you can’t un-ring a bell, I think is the saying.”

Dove considered that for a while as well before nodding slowly. “I’ve had a long time to think about it now, and I think… I do believe that Melangel really did believe they were doing what was best for us,” they said. “A lot of buns were - and are - perfectly happy staying in the Heavenly Meadow. If that’s where they want to be, then that’s where they belong. But we didn’t know what it really meant for us. We weren’t given a choice before I fell. Everyone deserves to know, and to have a chance to choose for themselves.”

Their voice was quiet, but the conviction in it was unshakeable. Silvanus watched them, now gazing into their tea as he had done before. There had been a question on his mind, ever since they returned to the Meadow with their startling revelations. Now he finally had the chance to ask it.

“What did you expect would happen, when you went back?”

Dove looked up at him in surprise, then tilted their head in thought. “I’m… not sure,” they admitted. “I’ve even changed my mind over time on what I wanted, or what I thought would happen. Everything’s turned out so much better here than I expected it would, but… even at that time, there really was a chance that Melangel would be able to say that it was all a lie, and everyone would believe them.”

“Many did believe them,” Silvanus murmured. “Even when they created the door, and the Embassy… even when I left, there were still some who wouldn’t accept it.” He didn’t add what some of the disbelieving said about Dove themselves. If Dove ever wondered about it, they could surely imagine. They didn’t deserve to hear it confirmed.

“But you believed me,” Dove said, a small smile returning to their face. “A lot more people did than I ever expected. Even Primrose…” They let out a little laugh, and a smile touched Silvanus’s lips as well.

“Even Primrose seems to be doing well for himself here, despite his own protests,” Silvanus agreed. He tipped his cup back to drain the last of the tea and then set it aside. “I suppose what really did it for me is that I realized I’d never stop wondering. I don’t know if I’d ever be able to be content again, just… always wondering.”

Dove’s expression turned bittersweet. “I guess that’s the double-edged sword of finding out what you’re missing, huh.” They looked down again for a few moments before their gaze returned to meet his. “Are you… happy? That you left?”

“I miss the Heavenly Meadow,” Silvanus admitted candidly. “I miss it more some days than others. But… yes. I’m glad I came here.” He reached over to lay his hand on Dove’s. “And it’s very good to see you again.”

Dove blinked at him a few times and then looked away again. “You too,” they said, voice a little watery. He did them the courtesy of not mentioning it, but he did hand over a napkin for them to dab at their eyes.

Amaranth and Lachesis both saw their opening when Dove’s attention was elsewhere and made a near-simultaneous dive for the pastries. Silvanus quickly threw the cover back over the dish and shooed them away, but it got a (still watery) laugh out of Dove, at least.

“The peace is a bit more short-lived around here,” Silvanus remarked dryly.

“I suppose so. I kind of like it, though,” they said, smile returning. “Here, have more tea.” They topped both cups off, and the two of them mutually let the comfortable silence resume as they sat and sipped, warmed a little more by the weak light of late afternoon.