Comfort in the Place you Least Except It

The sky was overcast, and Asra was beginning to suspect it was gonna rain. 

It would be fitting if it rained today, it was the day of Orleader's funeral after all. 

Asra had never met Orleader, but now he wished he had, as he stood amongst the crowds of buns, both in and out of Doll form, tears streaming down some of their faces, a silent mourning look on others. 

And then there was him. . . 

A Depressed look that matched the feel of the whole Church, he hadn't even gotten inside yet, but he almost felt like he shouldn't even be there. 

Rubbing one eye that was starting to become irritated by the cold and dry air, he began to hope it would rain, so the air would become more damp. . . .

That probably wasn't a good thing, Wishing for rain on such a sad day, especially when everyone came dressed in their best clothes for a funeral. 

Orleander obviously meant a lot to these people, and yet, Asra couldn't find the will in himself to comfort any of them, not that he knew them, or that this was any of his business in the first place.

Truely, he only really knew one bun, and he wasn't even sure if they were there. 

Closing his eyes and rubbing both this time, he tried to get rid of the drying feeling of his eyeballs. 

When suddenly a hooved paw landed on his lower leg. 

Turning he looked down to find a familiar face. 

It wasn't a happy face, but for once it was angry either. . . But nor was it sad. It was just blank, void of emotion, void of anything, the light gone from behind their eyes, leaving gapping blue voids that looked like deep pools of water. 

Her mouth was a flat line, except for the single sharp tooth that stuck out from between her lips. 

He usual scowl was gone. . . .

And that worried him. . . . .

Crouching down to her height, so they were eye level, he looked her in the eyes, though she refused to look back. 

Turning his eyes away after a few moments of awkward silence, a small unsure pout forming on his face, he finally spoke. 

“Did you know him?” He asked, but nair a reply came. 

Sighing, he went to stand up, to walk away, to hide from the crowd of eyes looking past him into the church, his stomach couldn't take the anxiety anymore, and he felt like an idiot for even coming. 

He was sure Orleander was a great person for all these buns to show up, but, that still didn't change the fact that he didn't know him, not personally, not even as an acquaintance. . . . He barely knew his name until the news announced he was missing. . . . . .

Besides, he'd never really felt comfortable in churches, they reminded him too much of so many things, the good, but more so the bad. . . . .

Too many memories lived in this place for him. . . . . Too much hurt, too much sorrow. . . . . Too much of him. . . . . .

Asra knew then that he'd have to leave, lest he have a public mental breakdown, not that he cared much for his image, but the last thing he wanted to do was make a scene during such a funeral. . . . .

Turning away, he began to walk, the paw on his leg falling to the wayside, as he took the first few steps back home. 

“Not much. . . .” came the mumbled late response. 

And Asra froze as the sniffle cut over the rest of the noise of the crowd. 

“But he was nice. . . .” She continued. 

“Always laughed at my rude comments towards him. . . .” a deep breath in stabilised her speech a little.

“I don't even know if he knew if I wasn't joking or not. . . . .” And a deep breath out left a slight sob to exit her mouth. 

“We barely knew each other, and yet, he didn't instantly judge me or assume anything about me. . . . .” She croaked out. 

“I remember. . . .” she turned her head up to the overcast sky, tears bubbling in her eyes as she tried her best to keep them at bay. 

“He would always ask how my day was going, no matter what, be it my mood, or the day, he would always ask with that same goofy smile on his face. . . . .” She swallowed deeply, and Asra finally turned around, and took a step in her direction. 

“Of course I never dignified him with a response, but. . . . Now. . . . . I wish I had. . . . .” with each new word, Asra took another step towards her, until finally with the last, he was at her side. 

“He sounds like he was a nice guy. . . .” Asra tried his best to comfort her, his memories of this place flashing back into his head, light chocolate brown fur, fluffy, soft, gone. . . . .

Agnes didn't respond this time, as she finally looked towards the ground, let out an almost silent cry of pain, not the kind you feel in your skin, the kind you felt deep in your chest, twisting sickly like a blade, until you just want to collapse. 

He knew the feeling well, Agnes had been his first friend since. . . . Well. . . . . For a long time. . . . . .

He'd been too scared to get close to anyone, too scared to loose anyone else, to be left alone, to feel that pain again, but it never truly goes away, it's like an ugly scar that never truly heals. . . . . It just stays, like an unwanted thought, only there when you need it the least. . . . . .

“I'm sorry. . . . I don't think I'm gonna be of much comfort right now” Asra spoke as he crouched back down at her side, wiping away a stray tear from his face. 

“It's fine. . . . I'm use to it. . . . .” She rubbed at her reddening nose.

“. . . .”

“. . . .” 

“. . . .”

“. . . .”

“. . . .” 

“. . . .”

The silence was sickening. . . .

“You shouldn't be. . . . .” Asra finally spoke, as he sat down next to the other bun, crossing his legs and resting his arms. 

“But maybe I should-” She started. 

“No! You don't deserve to feel alone, to feel like no one is there for you, you deserve so much more that you realize Agnes!! Yes you can be harsh, and a little mean at times, but that doesn't make you a monster!. . . . You have feelings, fears, wants, needs just like the rest of us!. . . . I just wish I could do more. . . . . I wish I could help you. . . . . .” He urged her, begging her to see her own worth, how amazing she truly was, not because she was some genius Witch, but because she was unique! She was one of a kind, a special bun just like Arsa, just like everyone else!!

And she deserved to be happy just like everyone else!! Whether she knew that yet or not! . . . . . 

Finally, a paw came to rest on his arm, and gave it a slight squeeze. . . . 

Only then did Asra realize the stream of tears pouring down his face, and as he went to rub them away, another paw caught his hand. 

“Thanks, but I think you need more comforting than I do.” she chuckled the first laugh he had ever heard from her, it was a bitter yet soft chuckle, and it soothed his soul. . . . .

He smiled at her a soft smile, gratitude heavy in his eyes as the tears slowly began to settle. . . . 

Taking in a deep breath, he just let the air in and out of his tight lungs, letting the stress go with the air that left them. . . . .

Clearing his throat, as he looked at her paws that still sat on his arm and hand, she quickly got the message and let go. . .

“So. . . . . You know anywhere nice in the city??” She finally asked, he voice still cracking and a little awkward. 

Asra smiled a few final tears coming out of his eyes. . . . 

Then he looked up at her and nodded. 

“Yeah, let's go find a bar.”

With that they slowly made their way, away from the crowd, a quiet conversation passing between them through glances.

Orleander was gone. . . . . But that didn't mean their lives had to end here. 

And as he looked up at the sky one last time, a few stray raindrops began to fall.

It was a fitting sight. . . . The weather to match such a day.

But, it was warm, comforting. . . . 

And as the warm rain slowly fell down, the two buns, one is doll form the other not, walked away from the Church of Sulfur.

Having found comfort, in the place they had least expected it. . . .

What a beautiful day to celebrate the life of someone, what a lovely day to be remembered.