New Year...Same Buns?

As much as the beginning of a new year gives some buns hope, or at least the assumption that they can completely reinvent themselves, Bubble was always far too self aware for anything so hopeful. He knew better (or at least he liked to think so) than to think just saying some useless platitude at the beginning of a new rotation of the globe was going to have any effect on how he actually behaved throughout the upcoming months.  And yet…there was an odd draw to make a resolution regardless. They knew well enough that without some actual motivation to change, it would so absolutely nothing, but maybe that was the point. Maybe stating the desire to change something out into the air or to close friends was a drive in and of itself to actually try.
That sounds cheesy, it sounds like a Snowfall Celebration movie moral delivered by some overworked business bun and their underdressed newfound spouse, but some sentimentality is desirable. It’s nice to let yourself occasionally fall from your high horse and engage in something pointless for the sake of tradition…but doing it alone feels  far too pitiful. Thus, after some prodding and the promise of buying booze. Bubble had managed to convince the members of Devourer to join him in welcoming the new year by making some (potentially) empty promises to the buniverse.

And here they are, settled into the couches of one of their venue dressing rooms with reams of paper and waiting for Bubble to arrive with pens. Rory was, as usual, goofing off  before Bubble arrived as. He was busying his short attention span with attempting to silently ripping off small pieces of paper, only to roll and ball them up into a small ball that he could then flick at the relaxing Jonah. The aforementioned two toned bun was relaxing, leaned back into the upholstery with his eyes closed as he seemingly was lost in his own mind.
At first, he seemed to be ignoring the pea-sized projectiles that were hitting him, though his eyes eventually lazily slid open to look emotionlessly at the maroon and purple bun before him. Rory froze in time for a moment, another ball in his hoof as they stared at each other. Quickly and sloppily, flicked the final paper bullet at Jonah, hitting him between the eyes before turning away to look innocently around the room, as if there was another unseen assailant in the room that could have been assaulting the relaxing singer with paper. Who would have done such a thing?

Jonah simply gave him a scoff and shook the scraps of paper from his mane of hair before the door to the room finally opened, the soft shift of sand-like substances in Bubble’s….well bubble…sounding to give away his identity even if they didn’t look. It was accompanied by the shifting of plastic bags, assumedly full of supplies and the promised booze and treats. Though any sound from his entrance was almost immediately eclipsed by  a dramatic groan from Rory as he turned to look over the back of the couch at him, dramatically slumping his large frame over it. “Damn, bubs, could you have taken any longer? Was no one sellin’ pens nearby, did you have to tramps across the damn burrows? “ he grumbled out muffledly into the leather, prompting an eye roll from the smaller bun. As a result, Bubble quickly (but gently) stuck a pen directly into one of his nostrils, causing Rory to recoil, pulling the pen from his poor nose with a huff and a few sniffles while Bubble flopped down beside him “Stop complaining or I’ll make you eat them”.
Passing a pen normally to Jonah, Bubble lingered his eyes on the poor victim of Rory’s boredom, dragging his gaze over the scattered pieces of paper before he gave the larger bun a look of almost parental disappointment. “ Besides… “ Bubble sighed “ You seem to have busied yourself plenty while I was gone. Making a mess AND ruining some of our supplies, that must be a new record of destruction for you. “. Pulling a deep laugh from him, Rory quickly put an arm around him, pulling the smaller bun in and slightly ruffling his hair “Well, ya know me, I’m full of surprises and potential. Gotta expect the unexpected! “.

After wrestling themself from Rory’s chokehold-like grip, Bubble took a moment to fix the mess he’d made of his hair before slipping a piece of paper to each of the boys, pulling back Rory’s slightly as he reached for it with a stern tone “ Don’t. Rip it.”. This was met with an eye roll as he snatched the paper from him with a ‘yeah, yeah’. Jonah adjusted himself into a slightly less lax position, only slightly adjusting so he could lean more into the arm of the chair he had settled into, placing the paper onto it and adjusting his gaze to Bubble for the first time since he entered “So…what are we even doin’ here?”.
The question twisted Bubble’s face in confusion for a moment before he groaned and turned to Rory, who was now rustling through the gas station bags Bubble had brought in with him. “Let me guess, Rory told you….nothing.” His tone was indigent but also almost endearing, as he knew Rory and the sort he was. Even now, Rory was blissfully unaware he was being spoken about as he pulled a beer from the cardboard sleeve in the bag and shoved a frosting covered snack cake into his mouth messily. Jonah offered a shrug and a small smirk at the sloppy eating of his band mate before he leaned his head into the palm of his paw “Nope! Just told me you promised us booze and junk food. Though there won’t be much left if we leave it next to him.”.

While taking the bag from Rory (pulling a whine from the bun who flopped back into the couch with a pout), Bubble instead set it on the coffee table near Jonah, allowing him to get a beer from it and anything else he may like as he explained “ Well, I invited you both here for New Years so we could write resolutions together. I know they’re a bit childish-” Bubble paused at a small snicker from Jonah, accompanied by a “No Kiddin’.” before he continued. “I just think there is some good in it. It’s a ridiculous tradition and…some may not even know what they intend to change, if anything, but there's no harm in indulging in some occasional sentimentality and holiday tradition is there? I mean, buns can change if they just have a strong desire to, can’t they?” There was a sad hopefulness to his voice as he stared down at the pack of pens in his lap, crinkling it as he fidgeted with it in nervousness. They felt like the silence that followed lasted a lifetime, finally glancing up from his lap after a few moments to clear their throat and take a piece of paper for himself “Well, either way, it’s harmless fun.”.

Jonah offered him a solemn nod before Rory scoffed some and grabbed his paper from the coffee table “Damn, fish bowl, gettin’ too heavy. They’re just dumb lil life goals. No biggie”. Bubble huffed at him in response “Oh yeah? If it’s so easy then what do you want, scratching post?” he flicked the scars on the thigh of the buff bun to punctuate his good natured jab, making Rory laugh. “Oh man, that’s EASY! I want more cred for the band! Get out there more: more gigs, more fans,...more groupies~” his voice practically purred out his final point while Bubble gagged. Laughing at the agony he caused, Rory then nodded toward Jonah as he wrote “What about you, splits? What are you gonna wish for?” he mused tauntingly as Jonah wrote silently to himself. “Pretty similar, honestly. Want the band to do better. I got too much skill to be working these small, milk toast ass gigs.”
“Not bad goals but do you two have any idea what you’re gonna do to make that stuff happen? They aren’t wishes, Rory. They’re goals, you gotta put in work to make them happen” Bubble responded as Jonah and Rory shared a look, only to burst out laughing a moment later. “Work?” Rory was able to slip out through his giggling “Babe we don’t gotta work at it, we’re talented as fuck! The fame comes to US”. “Yeah, we don’t chase~” Jonah agreed with a slight purr of his own, prompting an eye roll for the smaller bun as Bubble crossed his legs and stared down at his own blank paper, the general chatting of Rory and Jonah fading out of his mind as he tried to focus.

Is what he wants to change even possible, and more importantly, can they dedicate themself to actually making it happen? This isn’t a skill issue or an inevitability, like it may be for Jonah and Rory. They’re right, they have the skill and eventually the fame will find them and they’ll catch their break. Bubble though? This isn’t something he can expect to happen eventually…they’d actually need to work at it and they aren’t entirely sure they’re ready for the commitment it is going to take. Emotionally, can they handle what they want to change? Would anyone else even notice if he made the effort, would it matter? Rory is the only one who truly knows how he struggles internally, Jonah and him are more coworkers than actually friendly in any capacity, and Rory is too focused on himself to really notice changes around him.  Life seems so easy for him and Jonah
Bubble wishes he could have that sort of self centered singularity but he worries far too much about the gaze of the world around him and the impact he had on others…or that they have on him. New Year's Resolutions are supposed to be so simple…some thoughtless desire that you can drop with no shame a week after the year has begun, Rory and Jonah’s nonchalaunt auras told him that.  He signed and let himself slump back into the furniture, pulling his legs up onto the couch to brace the blank paper against his thighs, his pen tapping idly on his knee as he fidgeted before he moved to trap it between his teeth. Listening to the distant, foggy ambiance of Jonah and Rory speaking feet away from them. It felt like miles, leagues away as he lost himself in his mind.

Is he overthinking all this? And if he isn’t…why does it feel so difficult? Why is change an uphill battle for him, and will that ever change? Can anything ever change?