Boozy Blueberry

Afina had never been much of a drinker before. There had always been so many other things to keep her busy - like starting up her blueberry farm and eating her way through every sweet in Burrowgatory. There were too many cakes and other sweet delights for her to take a glance at any bitter alcoholic concoctions. Or that had been the case, until she discovered that The Rabbit Hole was serving a special blueberry cocktail. Blueberry puree with gin, mint, berry syrup and lime. It was time to, as the cool buns said, get shitfaced!

Which was how she ended up six drinks in and completely plastered, her cheek pressed against the bar, coating it in purple drool. She’d been doing fine up until her third, when they’d all hit her all of a sudden and then drinking even more seemed like the only logical course of action. Why would she ever want to leave? It was nice and peaceful at the bar, Hops was cute and Afina was having a very good time.

“H-Hoppu, Hop, Hoppsy!” Afina squeaked, drawing Hops attention from the other side of the bar. “A-another!” She pushed at her empty glass. It wobbled alarmingly, teetering back and forth before settling. “P-please.”

“I dunno,” Hops looked down at the blue bun who was barely able to keep her head up. Bit of a weak constitution on this one, she thought. “I think you might have had enough.”

“I have... I have carats and - uh, blueberries. Loook, look, seee, I have,” her arm was flopping about, searching for the little bum bag she was wearing. “Aha!” There it was! Just where she’d left it. Around her waist. “Look, look, Hops. I think you are very nice, very cool. So so pretty. Like a flower. But a good flower. One of the ones everyone likes.”

Afina managed to drag her head off the bench and reach into her bag, pulling out a mysterious item wrapped in paper.

“I have a gift for you!” Her nose crinkled smugly. This was indeed a wonderful gift and no doubt Hops would immediately fall in love with her. They would get married and sleep with a lot of other buns together, make some baby buns that they never had to ever look at again. It’d be neat. 

Despite herself, Hops leaned in, hands on the benchtop, gaze focusing curiously on the little package. “What is it?”

With as much tender care as someone as inebriated as her could manage, she unwrapped the present, revealing...

A half-eaten blueberry with clear nibble marks.

“I was... I was saving it for later,” Afina explained with great reverence and then held it out for Hops to take, presenting it in two paws, like a holy offering.

Hops smothered a giggle and then accepted the gracious gift, carefully rewrapping it. “I shall also save it for later.”

Afina nodded sagely. “Good idea.” Her head dropped back down to the table, her cheek squishing in her earlier drool. Wet. Ew. “Are- are we married now?” A bond forged in blueberries.

“Hm,” Hops considered the proposal, probably about as much as she considered every other random marriage proposal from her blind drunk customers. “See how you feel and ask me again tomorrow.” 

“S’good idea.” Afina made a snuffling sound, suspiciously like a snore. “See you in the... in the morning.” And then she fell asleep, for a good solid hour, snoring merrily until Hops woke her up and guided her to the door.

“Good luck,” she chimed, giving the blue bun a little head tussle. 

Hiccuping, Afina stumbled off into the night towards home.