Masquerades and Memories

The overlapping chatter of buns dressed in the pits of fashion filled Cixtri’s ears. Truthfully the noise sounded more like rumbling waves crashing in his head more than actual conversation. Picking nervously at the threads of his outfit, the spotted bun couldn’t help but remember the butterflies that flitted about his stomach when he saw the spring themed invitation arrive in his mailbox. It’s true that he had been rising in the ranks of society since opening his own restaurant, but he had never expected a formal invite to one of Angora’s spectacular events. He fiddled with the mask that rested upon his face mimicking the wings of a lepidoptera as he glanced around the room once more. He felt so out of place, surrounded by the citizens of Burrowgatory in their grand gowns, sparkling under the grand chandeliers, speaking of their grand escapades. Everything about this fairy masquerade was just….grand.

 And there was Cixtri, in the middle of it all, feeling as though he was falling short. He shakily grabbed a flute of champagne from one of the waiters dutifully making their rounds and nervously downed half of the glass in a single drink.

As a mere waiter at the Rabbit Hole, Seiko was certain that they would be one of the employees who would be serving esteemed guests tonight. They couldn’t say they weren’t interested in seeing the party themself out of curiosity, but for someone as short-tempered and prone to start fighting for petty reasons it was obvious that the greed-horned bun would never partake in the festivities themself. 

At least, that was the assumption until they were met with unexpected surprise from their colleagues and were made to put on fancy attire to ‘enjoy a once in a lifetime’ party. Next thing they know, Seiko is left to stand around in a velvet black tuxedo dress with heels and onyx-gold moth mask that was provided just for the occasion. 

But despite fitting right in when it came to appearance, a sense of unease looms over their head as they forgo the idea of socializing and approach a waiter instead to help themself a glass of champagne. It was after they took a sip of the bubbly drink that their eyes caught the sight of a sloth doll who seemed to be even more rattled than they were. And with their track record of being “rude and disrespectful” to just about anyone who conversed with them would mean that they would be blamed for the other’s discomfort unless they do something about the gentlebun standing next to them. 

“What got you all jittery tonight? Too much champagne?”

A nervous chuckle escaped his lips before he could think to prevent it.
“More like, not enough?” A large lump seemed to form in the buns throat, and clearing it seemed unaffected. Good thing he still had half a glass of the bubbly liquid to try and force the obstacle down.
“If I’m being transparent with you, I’m not quite equipped to handle such grand festivities.” There was that word again. Cixtri tilted his head and leaned a little closer to the mysterious bun, spotted ears loosely falling with the movement rather than being tied up as they usually were. The bun’s alcohol tolerance wasn’t as strong as it used to be and the bubbles were starting to feel nice.
“This is my first year receiving the esteemed Angora’s invitation.”

They held back a slight snicker when they noticed the doll moving a little closer to them. It wasn’t typical for them to be approached by another bun unless it’s to ask for a drink or take a swing at them. Still, Seiko turned to face him to get a better look at the anxious guest while sipping champagne.

“I’m sure Angora would want you to get comfortable and enjoy yourself, right? You ought to loosen up and mingle instead of standing around getting drunk or something.” 

While their advice came across as half-assed at best, it was the kindest thing that came to mind. But they decided to move along the conversation with an introduction to lessen the awkwardness between them. 

“Name’s Seiko by the way. Figure I should introduce myself since we’re sharing a glass of champagne together.” 

Mingle. Not exactly Cixtri’s strong suit. Even this short conversation was seemingly awkward and the bun had no one to blame but himself. He’d had successful discussions and social interactions before. He’d even befriended a few buns he would have previously never had dreamt of connecting with. But being here, in this ballroom, surrounded by masked buns was no better than being next to complete strangers.

Determined to push his anxiety aside and make the most of this situation, Cixtri reached a hand toward the stranger as introductions were being made. It happened almost simultaneously, the tingle that ran up his arm when they shook hands and the brick that dropped in his stomach as he heard this somebun’s name. Seiko. A blast from the past, unresolved feelings, and heartbreak.

But surely this wasn’t his Seiko. That would be too wild of a coincidence. Even still, the fluke had his heart fluttering in his chest.

“I appreciate the company, Seiko. I’m afraid if we stay hugging the wall, we may very well brand ourselves as outcasts.”

Seiko didn’t think much of their interaction as they reached out to shake his hand, but there was a lingering sense of familiarity once they held hands. It was faint, but before they could dwell on the feeling the handshake came to an end, and convinced themself it was just their nervousness getting the better of them.

Or perhaps they couldn’t let themself fall for their own stupidity by believing that the mysterious doll reminded them of someone else. A bun that had given them love, happiness, and a sense of belonging years ago. It was a life that they took for granted, and they couldn’t bring themself to ever forget their first love - let alone stop loving him. Though they failed to recognize Cixtri after so much time had passed and the idea of him getting invited to the Angora’s gala never crossed their mind. 

But the troubling thoughts were overshadowed by his comment about being seen as a couple of outcasts all because the two were simply standing around. Their apathetic nature melted away as Seiko burst into laughter and smiled, clutching their glass to keep it from falling out of their hand. Not enough to cause a commotion, but still rowdy to catch attention from nearby guests. 

“Hate to break it to you, but I really don’t care about that. Even if it’s just a fancy way of calling me a loser, it isn’t gonna make me lose any sleep tonight. But if standing here isn’t your thing, there’s always dancing if you’re up for it.” 

Their laugh made Cixrti’s stomach do a backflip. It was a warm, full sound that played in his head like a melody. He was surprised to find that he’d much rather listen to Seiko’s laugh over the orchestrated music of the live band Angora had hired. A blush crept up his cheeks at the realization Cixtri was very much attracted to this stranger.

The soft featured bun wasn’t the most skilled dancer, but welcomed the invitation eagerly. Anything to shake off the jittery nerves that seemed determined to take residence in the pit of his stomach. He just hoped his new acquaintance wasn’t the observant kind.

Extending his hand out once more, Cixtri angled his body to the dance floor. “I should warn you, I have two left hooves.”

A part of them expects him to turn down the invitation, but when the other doll extends his hand out and accepts the offer it brings a smile out of them. At best it was a small smile, but they felt at ease knowing that their behavior didn’t drive him away. Granted, Seiko had to behave and keep themself more so than usual, but even with blunt language it was safe to say that they weren’t looked down upon by the gentlebun. 

As they raised their flute to signal a passing waiter to take their drinks away, Seiko took their dance partner’s hand in theirs without hesitation. They were far from graceful or knew the first thing of ballroom dancing, but it wouldn’t stop them from giving it a try. 

“That’s fine with me. I’m not much of a dancer myself anyway. Just don’t cry if I accidentally step on you.”

Despite the faint comfort that came from their fingers intertwined, Seiko brushed the feeling aside as they guided Cixtri to the dance floor. Since some of the guests had moved away from the center stage , it didn’t take long for them to find a spot to get in position to dance. Taking the initiative to lead their partner, they closed the distance between them to place an arm on their shoulder blade and kept the other hand interlocked with his. 

Seiko would be lying to themself if they didn’t feel nervous about holding the other doll for many reasons. Their heart was beating out of their chest when their eyes gazed straight at Cixtri’s, who was still just a stranger to them thanks to the mask that hides his face. His gentle blue eyes had them mesmerized, as though time was frozen for a moment before coming back to their senses. 

As they redirected their attention back to the dance itself, they began to take the first step forward. From the awkward, tense movements and the waltz was a bit too slow to synchronize with the orchestra’s rhythm, it was clear that Seiko was no better when it came to dancing. Yet it didn’t deteriorate their efforts as they took careful steps while ensuring that they wouldn’t accidentally drag Cixtri around in the process. 

The pale bun let himself be led through the sea of strangers, relishing in the heat resonating between their clasped hands. His breath hitched as Seiko pulled them closer, all too aware of the light pressure of their hand on his back, and the way Seiko’s eyes looked like a peaceful spring morning.

Cixtri was so nervous he couldn’t keep his thoughts straight. What if he tripped, or said something stupid, or did anything else that could ruin what was promising to be an agreeable evening at the very least. He could feel sweat pooling on the hand he had delicately placed on his dance partner's shoulder and desperately wanted to wipe the perspiration on the clean linen of his gala outfit. 

The orchestra pulled Cixtri’s attention back to the present and for the first time since they’d arrived on the dance floor, the sloth bun pulled his eyes away from Seiko’s and promptly glued them to the floor in order to count their steps.

Stiff and awkward couldn’t begin to describe the two buns as they attempted the classic waltz and Cixtri couldn’t help but laugh wholeheartedly at the fact that his partner might be having the same struggle as himself. And in an instant all that worry and nervousness melted away as the blonde bun decided to let worries go and blindly follow Seiko’s lead. His grip loosened ever so slightly with his newfound lightheartedness. 

Doing what felt most natural, Cixtri rested his cheek lightly against the greed bun’s and let loose a dreamy sigh.

“Is there anything quite as beautiful as music?” There had been a time in his youth where he hadn’t quite understood the impact of song, something he had sense remedied and regretted throughout the years. “The ability to convey such emotion in such a raw and vulnerable way is quite brave, is it not”

The soothing melodic sound of the orchestra brought a sense of peace to Seiko despite the minor mishaps in the waltz. Their pace, though gradually improving in terms of speed and rhythm, didn't dilute the stiffness or lack of confidence behind their steps. 

Still, there was a charm to their dance that they couldn’t put it into words as they couldn’t find any sort of dread or discomfort toward their waltz partner himself. It had always been a natural instinct for Seiko to push others away and meet others with distrust or aggression, if not both. They thought that those emotions would ring out even more than usual when surrounded by those who have made something for themselves and would otherwise have the audacity to look beneath them. 

But not him. With his nervous, but kind heart and trusting nature, they didn’t have it in them to pull themself away from him. His warmth felt comforting, almost painfully so as though they had held his hand so many times before. And it stung them with an intense sense of confusion, as Seiko isn’t sure whether to chase those feelings back or to embrace it in blissful ignorance. 

Just as the thoughts began to pull them away from the moment, they were brought back to reality from the light touch on their cheek with his own. Had they zoned out a minute longer, Seiko wouldn’t have heard a soft sigh from his lips or his comment on the music playing in the background. At least it was a topic that they were happy to talk about rather than literally anything else that required them to answer half-heartedly. 

“Honestly, I can think of a few things that are just as nice.” 

It was an honest answer that just came out before they had the chance to think about it. But to avoid elaborating on their response, they immediately followed up with a warm smile and closed their eyes for a brief moment.

“You’re not entirely wrong though. There are always some buns that couldn’t care less on what they make as long as they’re making money or whatever. It all depends on why, I guess.”

There was a pause, and before they knew it, Seiko finally opened up to Cixtri as they continued the conversation just as their waltz came to an end. 

“You know, I didn’t think I’d dance with some rich bun like you tonight. But you’re not as much of a loser as I thought, even if you could stand to grow a backbone so you don’t get stuck with someone like me as your date.”

Cixtri wanted to delve deeper into Seiko’s elusive answer about music. Some innate curiosity that made the soft natured bun want to know more about his dance partner. To truly listen to the subjects that played in Seiko’s mind and the beat that controlled his heart. But the quick change in subject and small smile that the pastel haired bun offered made Cixtri think it better to drop the subject. All he could do in that moment was study Seiko’s face—or what he could see despite the mask— and wait silently.

Suddenly the music came to a halt and there wasn’t a reason to stick close to the outspoken enigma. The realization of that made Cixtri inexplicably disappointed, and to keep hold of their fleeting moment for even a second longer, he didn’t release his grip on the other’s hand as they moved away from the dance floor.

Cixtri knew it most likely wasn’t meant to cause any harm, but Seiko’s comment about his first impression and needing a backbone pierced whatever pride he had grown throughout the years. Now he had no problem dropping the blunt bun’s hand and his back had become so straight and stiff one might think he had a broomstick holding him in place. He didn’t even care to correct Seiko’s assumption about him being part of the elite 1% that attended tonight’s gala.

Sure, his restaurant was successful now, but Cixtri had built it from the ground up with his own two hands. He’d found a dream he’d wanted to pursue, and dug his heels in to ensure he got to fulfill that dream. That had meant long nights figuring out recipes, finding the right staff, creating the perfect atmosphere, and borrowing a loan from a friend whom he swore he’d pay back. 

“I suppose you’re right.” His arms were now crossed defensively in front of him. “I think I should excuse myself, lest my lack of a backbone inconvenience you any further.” It wasn’t quite a snarl, but it came damn close. Without giving the other bun a chance to respond, Cixtri had spun around and was heading for the coat check.

Taken aback by the sudden mood shift, Seiko felt the tension that struck Cixtri’s body before their hands were separated. Not even a minute ago they felt like everything was going to be okay. That they didn’t have to distance themself from someone, even if it’s basically guaranteed that they’d never meet again. But here they are, being pushed aside over a comment that didn’t bear any malice in it. 

What a joke. 

Even at the risk of losing their job over an upset guest, the pink-haired doll couldn’t hide their soured expression and clutching their fists until their knuckles turned white. All they could do was let him walk away until he disappeared from their sight, then turned around to storm into the staff room to gather their belongings. 

“Fucking piece of shit…last time I’d try getting along with rich assholes.” Seething with anger and frustration, Seiko didn’t care if anyone could hear them curse as they left the party. At this point, they needed to go somewhere to escape and take their aggression out before the night ends. 

Had they known that the night would turn out like this, they wouldn’t have bothered showing up at all.

No, if Seiko knew who their dance partner was, they would’ve apologized for their mistake and thrown their pride away to show Cixtri how much they love him even now. 

The air outside was cold and bitter, almost as if nature could feel the storm of emotions brewing inside of Cixtri and wanted to match. He tore the intricate butterfly mask away from his face, letting it fall to the ground.

It was strange, the way he was letting his emotions get the better of him over somebun he didn’t even know. But their dance kept playing in his mind. It only lasted for a few minutes, but the peace and familiarity felt like it lasted for much longer. 

The spotted bun cursed himself for allowing himself to think there was anything more to the act than pure generosity, and for allowing the night to remind him of past romance and of his Seiko.

Thoughts of the two pink buns who shared a name plagued his thoughts well into the night, until he finally found peace in a deep sleep.