A Book’s Greatest Adversary

“Consarn it! Why now, why nooow…”

Protectively wrapping his arms and cape around the things he carried, Calcifer ducked under the eaves of a nearby building — they weren’t nearly long enough to fully protect Calcifer’s body, but it was all he had to rely on in this sudden downpour. Seriously, could the weather forecast have been any MORE wrong? “Clear skies” his ass — it’d been raining on and off the entire day… Calcifer took his chances in the pursuit of higher understanding, and… it came back to bite him in the ass. Oh well.

The annoyed noises he made turned to growls and grumbles of effort as he made a valiant effort to keep his very important package of rare books out of the wetness. Ohh… the outer packaging was already moist; this wouldn’t do at all. Sure he’d asked the seller to make double, TRIPLE sure that the books were properly sealed… but STILL. It made him upset to see his things in such a state. With a pout Calcifer turned his head outward and upward, baring his fangs at a hiss towards the sky. Damn you, rain. Sudden downpours that impede his progress like this were certainly the work of higher beings that had it out for him… him and his knowledge. Well, you won’t stop him; soon his power will grow, and…

Ahem. Calcifer sighed once more, using a free hand to wring out the water from the tips of his dripping cape. What a pain it was to wear clothes that loved to absorb every drop of liquid they came into contact with… laundry day was indeed always a hassle, but it was all in the name of the aesthetic. Normies wouldn’t understand! Hmm hmm!

“… hmm. Higher powers, if you can hear me…” Calcifer looked left and right before continuing… seemingly addressing the sky, “HA-HA-HA. Your egos supersede you! If you are to think that a bun of my stature would be intimidated by this piddly little show of water, you would be incorrect. No setback or mishap is too much for Calcifer Ichabod VII, the Sanguin—”

BOOM.

A loud clap of thunder instantly zipped Cal’s lips tightly; he receded against the wall and clutched at his package with a level of drama only found in cartoon villains. His heart jumped to his throat, he could FEEL the chill of the rain against his wet skin, against his nose…

“How dare you…” He hissed in a low voice. The slight fog that came from the mildly hot sidewalk being cooled by the rain let Calcifer see the subtle glow that his eyes threw into the surrounding area… and when he squinted, they did as well. They were beacons that led him to the truth… and the truth of the matter was that this rain was a little BITCH, and the higher powers wouldn’t FIGHT FAIR.

However…

Just as quickly as the downpour arrived… there it went again. With a couple blinks of his truth-beams, the pour dwindled into a drizzle, which trickled away into a mist… then nothing at all. Carefully—as if he were a night-walking creature testing if the light were safe to step into—Calcifer stuck a hand out… wiggling his fingers to test the air. As dry as it could get… and now the sun had come back out to warm the pavement up once more.

“That’s… that’s right. Be afraid of my prowess…” His voice trembled ever so slightly as he walked out from under the eaves. Afraid? No. This was just him restraining the true extent of his power… power to change even the weather’s tides.

But… he digresses.

Carefully wrapping his arms around his package, Calcifer took off down the sidewalk at a quickened pace. Before the beasts return, he must make it back to The Hoarde. Yes… yet another victory for his cause.