Bunnery Boosted

“You’re so cuuuute, aren't you! Like a little potato of a bun, yes you are! And can ya’ll believe how cute these habits are? Church of sulfur exclusives!”

Minette laughed coyly up into her phone camera, holding a couple poses for just a second each before bringing the lens back down to get Mercy in the background of the shot.

“It's a little harder than it looks, but Mercy’s a real holy roller…that baby is nooot going anywhere. Nice try though!”

She zooms in on the squirmy little black and pink baby bun reaching for her phone. A, because she's adorable, and B, to give Mercy a break. In their defense they had been trying to smile on camera but it didn't look like they would last much longer. Their usual calm demeanor had started to take on a slightly rancid quality the last few minutes.

Minette mouthed the words “They’ll love this, keep going!” in their direction from behind her shimmering phone.

“I'm getting ready to see how I do in the crossfire. I heard there's— how many new buns this month, Mercy?”

Her eyes widened at Mercy’s response, though she'd heard it before. It was still kind of wild to imagine. Not that she knew how different this particular number was from past years. Until Mercy had agreed to let her film there, she'd never been particularly faithful. The sights and sounds of the Bunnery would be as new to her as they were for her followers. Candid rich environment. Minette’s fanged conspiratorial smile lit up her raised camera, makeup catching light at just the right angle, one big blue-green eye winked as if sharing a secret with whoever was watching on the other side. Now she lowered her voice, still roiling with enthusiasm.

“Get ready for a deep dive, kittens! We'll have to be quiet going into the Bunnery proper…”

“Silent, actually,” added Mercy from off screen, tucking the tiny pink baby under their arm like a football to put a hand on their hip. Message received.

Minette’s voice dipped near an absurd level of quiet. “Silent.” That was alright — probably she could still get some really good action shots, and the rows and rows of sleeping baby buns would make a great visual for panning over. She'd add some lofi music and captions later— maybe hold or play with a few. A couple taps ended the recording for now, and Minette offered Mercy her best, well— merciful grin.

“How you holding up?”

Better not to call them ‘babe’ right now, though she had to hold her tongue for it. Muscle memory. They seemed caught slightly off guard by the question.

“Well enough. You're sure this will bring in more help?”

Mercy scowled, though it quickly disappeared once the little one they were holding reached up to touch their chin. They expertly re-swaddled her and sighed in Minette's direction, exasperated.

“If I might be frank with you, it seems like slow work. You are here, and we could have fed half a set of buns by now. Can you at least— pick up the pace? We should get going. ”

Minette put on her best apologetic smile. It wasn't entirely a front— she did feel sorry for Mercy.

“I'll try my best. Good content takes time, love.”

You'd think a real flesh and blood nun would be more patient, but maybe that was just a Cherubun thing? Minette certainly wasn't going to judge. What they were doing seemed like … a lot of work. Constantly.

“We'll get through this together, I promise.”

With Mercy focusing on what they were best at and Minette offering her own unique strengths, what couldn't they do, after all? She just needed them to hang in there a little bit longer. Especially so she could get Bunnery access.

Mercy sighed, eyeing her, but—

“Thank you, then. Let's get going? You will need to keep your hands clean in the feeding bay.”

On cue Minette took out a little towelette to wipe her phone and lens with.

“You make this sound so difficult!”

Mercy simply smiled the calm, patient smile they were known for and waited for Minette to accompany them.

“Please, please get back here—”

As it so turned out, taking care of baby buns was indeed very difficult. Filming had gone well enough for an hour or two but wrapped up faster than Minette would have liked— she’d gotten her shots down but hadn’t for the life of her been able to convince Mercy to let her gather more. Or at least, she hadn’t been able to shoot well at the pace they were now moving, made even more difficult by the somehow steadily increasing number of baby buns deposited into her arms. Swaddling the babes took both hands, feeding them took at least one with them nestled in the crook of the other— Mercy made it all look so easy.

Now she was on her knees as one of the little buns she’d put down for a mere second shimmied its way underneath one of the many occupied bassinets. Bloody hells, she’d only wanted to fix her habit.

The little bun grinned back at her and rolled backwards another pace at an honestly impressive speed for someone who hadn’t fully put together how to walk yet. They made a pleased gurgling sound and laid down on their side, stretching just out of her reach, big green-purple eyes looking up at her as if questioning her next move. She had to admit the little guy was cute. Of course they were, they were a baby— a bun shaped firey little furball, practically— but devils help her fucking knees.

“What do you want? Money???” Minette pled, knowing full well they probably just wanted to play. She tried to keep her voice down as to not wake any of the other buns.

“Mobi!” replied the little one, which, for their part, was perfectly reasonable. They were the last to be put to sleep, and had instead decided it was time to make Minette’s life substantially more interesting after emptying near an entire bottle. Some of that came back up now. The little bun smiled. Good lord.

Minette backed out from under the basinet and looked around for Mercy, only to find that they were already watching with a pleasant, unbelievably amused smile on their face. Minette just gestured under the bed and tried again to fix her habit— and her hair, while she was at it.

“This one’s done for. Greed bun in their future, I’m so sure.” And then, after catching her breath, “A little help?”

Mercy just grinned, a small bun in either of their arms being gently bounced to sleep. Minette had a feeling this was their favorite part of the job.

“We’ll get through this together, I promise~”

Minette sputtered, and then laughed— yea okay, she deserved that one. Honestly, if Mercy was doing this all day every day she was surprised they hadn’t strangled her earlier. With a sigh she stuck her head back under the basinet, got out her purse, and put down a single carat. The little bun made a messy, delighted noise and started their return.

Right? Get that bread, she thought, amused in spite of it all. After the experience she’d had she’d need to put a lot more work into making the work here seem any type of glamourous— that had been her original angle, after all— but it was at least enjoyable. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d done anything like this.

After a moment’s more baiting the little firey bun crawled out from under the basinet, put one teeny paw on the carat and flopped the rest of their body atop her hand. They closed their eyes, exhausted, and fell promptly asleep.