Sermons And Sins (Sorren)

A soft sigh echoed through the empty church as a somber bun rested on a pew, his head bowed, shoulders slumping forward as he stared down at the floor. His tail thumped softly against the seat as he fidgeted quietly, allowing his thoughts to wander as he studied the floor intently, his brow furrowed in deep thought.

“Is something weighing on your mind, Sorren?” The calm voice of the church's head priest broke the silence, causing Sorren to look up at the other bun. “You look troubled.” Oleander took a seat next to Sorren, gently placing his hand on his before reminding himself that Sorren tended to be slightly adverse to touch and retracting his hand.

“I'm.. Fine. I suppose.” Sorren let another sigh, not quite understanding how to express his emotions, therefore choosing to simply ignore them. He'd never had a good grasp on how to handle his emotions, which caused him to come off as cold and numb, despite that not being the case at all. In reality, he genuinely just found it easier to not express himself at all to avoid the overwhelming sensation of…well, feeling. As well as the overwhelming sensation that came from others not understanding or misinterpreting him, which for some reason see me to happen quite often.

“You suppose?” Oleander chuckled softly. “I take that to mean you aren't truly fine?” He gently patted his shoulder, figuring touch that wasn't skin to skin would likely be far more appreciated. “If there's something wrong, you can talk to me, Sorren. I won't pressure you… But you can. I'm always here.”

Sorren paused, nodding slowly and humming softly in thought. If there was anyone he'd genuinely trust to talk to, it would likely be Oleander, as fond as he was of Mercy, he didn't have full confidence that they could help very much, nor that they would definitely keep the conversation to themselves, even if the intent wasn't malicious in nature. And he didn't want to bother Monroe again. “I… I suppose I could talk to you… If… You wouldn't mind.” He glanced at him just a moment before immediately averting his eyes again. Part of him hoping he'd change his tune and deny him.

“Of course I wouldn't mind. Would you like to come to my office to talk? I'm assuming you wouldn't particularly want to step into the confessional booth…” He chuckled softly to himself, amused by the mere mention causing a light blush and slightly flustered look to appear on the other bun's face.

“Your office is perfectly adequate.” Sorren huffed softly, annoyed by how easy he was to fluster, especially considering who he worked with… He should be used to this by now, dammit. But no, here he was, blushing like an easily flustered young bun who was fresh to Burrowgatory.

“In that case…” Oleander stood from the pew, righting himself and stepping back so Sorren could stand, nodding as he did so. “Come along.” He lead the way to his office and unlocked the door, stepping inside, tsking softly at the flowers piled up on his desk. “How does he keep getting those in here when the door is locked..” Oleander shook his head, setting the bundle aside and sitting down, motioning Sorren to take a seat across from him. “Now then, please, tell me what's troubling you, Sorren.”

Sorren sat down and shifted in his seat, fidgeting with his hands and keeping his eye glued on the desk, the wall, the floor, his hands, anywhere he could look that didn't involve the potential of actually making eye contact. “Well… I've found myself… Confused. And a bit stressed.” He took a deep breath, moving his hands to rub against his legs soothingly. “I find myself more drawn in to… Certain sins I'd previously been adverse to.”

“Lust?” Oleander cocked his head to the side, Sorren was one of the most lust avoidant buns in the church. He rarely seeked out encounters, often turned people down, and didn't even seem interested in nonsexual romance. Had something happened to make that change?

“Well… yes. During this passed Matentines, I came to Monroe when things got a bit desperate, and well… I actually enjoyed myself. Usually I just find it more of a task or chore, something to quiet down hormones, but.. Well…” Red slowly crept across Sorren's face as he spoke. “It was really nice…”

Oleander smiled, chuckling softly. “I'm glad you were able to enjoy yourself. Why is this causing you stress, Sorren?”

Before he could stop himself Sorren blurted out his immediate thoughts, “It's different! I don't like change! I'm so used to being able to just ignore all of that, but now I actually want to… I don't know… date? Have flings? I… I don't even know what I want..” He slumped down in his seat, letting out a heavy sigh. The break from the usual, the routine, it was overwhelming and thoughts flooded his mind about the millions of ways things could suddenly change.

“Oh, Sorren..” Oleander stood, walking around the desk to stand next to him. “May I touch you?” Once he received a nod he very loosely wrapped his arms around his shoulders, petting his bandaged ear gently, hoping to comfort the frustrated bun. “You'll figure it out. It may take time, but you'll figure it out. And you have always have me or Monroe if you need to rant and rave about the struggles of it all, or want advice, or anything of the sort.”

Sorren sighed and leaned into his touch for once, soaking up the comfort instead of tensing or squirming. “I… I know you're right… but… I dunno… I guess I'm just nervous about the future with this change. I've never even considered sharing my life with another bun. But now it feels… tempting. Maybe I'd enjoy it. Maybe it would be nice.” Sorren chuckled weakly. “But what if something goes wrong? Or I never actually find someone?”

“You're perfectly lovable, you'll find someone eventually. Why not go out and about with some of the other church members and see if you meet someone? Even if they just become a friend, I think it would be good for you.” He hummed in thought, before suggesting a few members of the church that tended to go out together, suggesting he request to tag along (and even offering to help him ask).

Sorren nodded slowly, standing from his chair. “I.. I'll go ask. Thank you.”

“Anytime, Sorren. Please, let me know if it goes well.” Oleander nodded and stepped back so Sorren could leave the room, waving him off with a smile. “Good luck.”