flowers and anxiety

Monroe took a deep breath, setting his candyl, Somber, down on the pew in front of him. “Alright… I can do this, yea? You think so, right, Somber?” Monroe forced a smile at his beloved pet, sighing heavily when Somber made a soft trill sound back at him. “Oh… You don’t believe in me either, huh?” He chuckled weakly. “Me neither, buddy..” He sighed, sitting down next to Somber and petting him. “I don’t know why I freeze up like this… It’s not like I’m not already one of his (many) partners- no one else locks up so much.” He looked down at the bundle of flowers in his hands. White lilies to represent devotion, red oleander to represent passion…and the obvious, a few carfully placed branches of bleeding hearts to represent true unconditional love, and a single red and single black rose intwined at the center, all wrapped up in black paper that had a sulfer symbol pattern across it. He’d refused to let the owner of the flower shop put the bouquet together for him, he had insisted on purchasing the flowers and putting it together himself, it needed to be truly personal. Well… He had wanted it to be. Now he was debating admitting defeat to his own anxiety and dropping them all in a nice vase at home so he could stare at them in shame.

“Oh, Monroe, lovely. I was looking for you.” Oleander’s voice softly echoed through the empty church, along with the sound of his heels clicking against the ground as he made his way to where Monroe sat. “Who would that be for~?” He chuckled knowingly before walking around in front of the front pew Monroe and Somber were sitting on. “Oh come now, tell m– are you quite alright? You look a bit pale.” Oleander arched a brow and studied him a moment, watching as Monrow slowly looked up at him. “Come now, Burrowgatory to Monroe Accardi.” He snapped his fingers in front of Monroe’s wide eyes, snapping him back to reality in a moment.

“Ah! Yes- my apologies. They’re uh.. For…”

“Me, perhaps?” The pink haired bun bent down a bit so they were eye to eye, a teasing smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. 

“Oh- no- I mean- well, yes, but-” Monroe stumbled over his words as his heart jumped up in his throat, his breath quickened and his chest tightened, why was it so hard to just speak?

Oleander gently took the bundle from his hands, looking them over. “They’re lovely. I’ll put them with the others that I’ve recieved.” His expression softened just slightly as he watched the other bun melt against the pew with relief. “You worry yourself far too much, Monroe. You’ve been extremely loyal and devoted to both the church and myself…” He put a curled finger under Monroe’s chin, tilting his head side to side to better study his face, leaning closer to plant a kiss, but pulling away just as quick. “It would take a lot more than something like picking out the wrong flowers or saying the wrong thing when presenting a gift to disappoint me, my darling.” He glanced at Somber, watching him sway back and forth happily and trill softly, happy as can be for Monroe. 

“I… yea, I know.” Monroe smiled at him weakly, eyes shimmering with nothing but love and admiration for the bun in front of him. “Though I don’t quite think my brain got the message.” 

“Oh?” Oleander straightened his back, stepping a bit closer and running his hand through Monroe’s black curls a few times before loosely gripping his hair and tilting his head up. “Maybe some positive reinforcement would help~ It is Matentines after all~ And I would love for you to come join me in my office.”

Monroe inhaled sharply, eyes slightly widening at the offer. Oleander had been far too “busy” during Matentines, so Monroe had found himself becoming a rather pent, as he rarely spent intimate time with anyone that wasn’t Oleander. He’d gone on a date with one of the church’s nuns, and he’d slept with Sorren once since he’d come to him in a desperate state, but that was all since the beginning of the Matentine season. He slowly nodded, gratefully accepting the offer. “Of course, I’d love to join you.” 

Oleander smiled and took his hand, pulling him up to a standing position and guiding him to his office, the door softly clicking shut behind them.