Mini Golf Mayhem

Vadim Romanovich was absolutely running late for his blind date, which wasn’t odd since he was usually late. But he was later than usual. When Azrael had sprung the fact that he’d not only been put into The Church of Sulfur’s blind date pool but that he also had a date that night, he’d been shocked. He knew it was fair, he never did reply to the message that Azrael had sent about letting him know about being signed up or not. Az had said that if he didn’t Az would “use his own discretion.” So he knew it was his own fault, but he was just so awkward with dating. 

It meant that of course he’d gone out for a drink before the date to decide if he was showing up or if he was sending Varrik Rurikovich to let the poor bun know that they’d been stood up. But he’d found the courage just in time. Kind of. So he’d quickly paid his tab, tipped, and bolted out of the establishment.

Vadim was still jogging when he approached the establishment and looked up at the name, completely missing the GreedDoll standing there checking her phone. “What the fuck is that?” He blinked up at the sign in complete confusion. 

Bex liked to be precise about these sorts of things. She wasn’t exactly the casual date type, so this sign-up to the Church of Sulfur’s blind date program was a calculated move intended to produce either a favorable partner for Matentines or some poor sap to swindle money out of. This meant she had a concrete plan for how she was going to approach and handle these sorts of dates. She shows up on time to the restaurant or movie, offers a handful of fairly cheap flowers, and turns on the charm.

Arriving at the location had shattered all of those procedures for this date. It was… some sort of facility with bright colors, lights, and a huge sign reading ‘MINI GOLF’ out front. She took perhaps too long examining the outside of the building for any signs of a secret restaurant somewhere, finding nothing. Was she even in the right place? There didn’t seem to be anyone inside waiting for a date to show up, so she was first there.

She leaned on the side of the building, tossing the now-wilting flowers to the side. They only stayed fresh for a short time, and whoever her date was hadn’t shown up yet. She waited for a few more minutes before taking out her phone and checking the location again. This has to be the wrong place…

As she confirmed that yes, this was the right address, her ears twitched at the heavy footfalls approaching. With the exclamation, she began to suspect that this doll may be in the exact same predicament as her. And… for some reason, he looked a bit familiar. Like she should know his name, but it escaped her at the moment.

“You know, I truly have no idea,” she said, pushing herself up off the wall. “According to the Church of Sulfur, it’s a date spot.”

Vadim’s head whipped around, and when he saw the beautiful GreedDoll he immediately straightened up, trying to compose himself. He nervously adjusted his open shirt and vest before he caught himself and tried to act casual. “Apparently they didn’t add an instruction manual to your invitations either then? Just the address?” He chuckled nervously and looked away for a moment. Burrowgatory she felt familiar, if only he could put his finger on it… 

“Aaaanyway… Vadim Romanovich.” He held out his non-skeletal hand for a handshake. It seemed like a very practiced motion, and his handshake was crushing. As a bodyguard for the boss of The Shadow Syndicate he’d learned to set the tone immediately with his grip but he couldn’t turn it off

“Address and time, yep.” Bex squinted slightly, again trying to place that fuzzy memory. Something with… a bar, maybe? Or maybe that’s just because he smelled a bit like one right now. “You get what you don’t pay for, I suppose.”

She took his hand and went to give her customary completely-average strength handshake, before wincing ever-so-slightly. She probably should have suspected that, given the impressive muscle on him. She’ll blame the ‘mini-golf’ for throwing her off her typical rhythm. Still, she thought she ended the handshake with a respectable enough grip.

“I’m Bex,” she said. “Good to meet you; are you excited to figure out the mystery of what mini-golf is? I have to say I am curious.”

He’d figure out where he knew her from later, for now it’d be better for him just to focus. He mentally shook himself so that he didn’t get too awkward. “Nice to meet you too, Bex.” He grinned, and with the way his fangs curved, it felt almost menacing. “Oh and uh, you can call me Vadim, you don’t have to use the praedatronym, it’s an occupational hazard.” He chuckled. “I’m, uh. Not really sure I’m gonna be cut out for whatever it is, but sure. If you’re curious, I’d hate to ruin your night.” Oh yeah, so smooth.

He held the door open for her, half out of habit and half in an attempt to smooth his late arrival and the hoof currently in his mouth. When they entered the odd establishment, he already knew he was way out of his league. He dwarfed everything. “Oh fuck.” He muttered under his breath before quickly trying to cover it with a cough. 

Heading to the front counter he paid for both entries without asking; and when he was handed the two miniature golf clubs and their balls, his skin prickled. He had a sneaking suspicion that the host at the stand was secretly laughing at him. Not that he could blame them if they were, he was sure the site was ridiculous.

The mountain of man being a bit off-kilter as well soothed Bex a bit, even if that odd smile continued to poke at the sense of strange familiarity. Either way, it was good not to be the only one a bit befuddled by this date night choice. “Well, let’s hope there’s no night ruined by the fact that we’re going in.”

The place was just as baffling inside to Bex as it was outside. Bright colors, itty-bitty just about everything, the vague snickers abound. Some sort of.. game, maybe? She narrowed her eyes, scanning the room as she followed Vadim to the front. What was this?

At least he’s paying, she thinks as she scans what seemed to be some sort of club. It was small in her hands, sure, but looking up at it in his hands was almost too much for her to handle without snickering. She managed though, thinking it would probably be in poor form to laugh at a date who is obviously already out of place. “I guess they weren’t kidding about the ‘mini’ part. I feel like we may not be their usual clientele.”

She held the club in her hand more like one would a weapon than a sports instrument, and swung it around a few times. Bad weight for hitting things with, she observed.

Vadim finally barked out a laugh at her comment. “No I don’t suppose we are. I think maybe this is more meant for smaller dolls.” He snorted at that, but couldn’t help but watch her swings as she tested out the weight of the club. He knew that sort of body language, it was someone handling a weapon; and while he did the same in his own life, he wasn’t expecting it in his date.

“So you wanna try this weird place out or?” He was almost hoping she’d say no. Whatever demon had inspired a Succubun to make this deserved to be stuck in an interrogation room until they were ready to confess their error. But he was willing to stick around if only to see how her hair looked in the flashing lights. Because honestly it was sorta nice - though that was a new thought for him. He’d have to… think about that later… in detail. 

While he waited for her reply he gently tried a swing or two just to make sure that he wouldn’t break the damn thing when trying to play this game. 

At the third swing of the club, Bex realized she had gone fully off her planned script for this date. She sheepishly held the golf club at her side, trying to mimic how the other people at this location seemed to be holding it. Normal, smooth talking, less complaining. She needed to put off the image of a perfectly lovely bun.

Or did she? 

She stared up at her date, and reconsidered. Something about him told her she was not going to get any money out of him, and he didn’t exactly seem like the type to go for the more simpering and mirroring persona she used on these dates. And this ‘mini-golf’ thing was ridiculous. And… look, you can’t blame a bun for thinking a bun like this is a little handsome. Cute even, with that miniscule golf club in his hand.

“Against my better interest,” she said. “I actually do.” She looked back at the person at the counter, then over at Vadim again. “I mean, if we mess up playing it that badly, I don’t think they have the manpower to be able to kick us out.”

Now she was speaking his language. “I think you’ve got a point.” He grinned and swung the club in a fancy arc to land it on his shoulder. “Shall we?” He jerked his head toward the start of the course, and let her head into the area first. Though, it wasn’t for pure of heart intentions, just easier to check her out from behind if she wasn’t looking. He didn’t need to start up the awkwardness again this soon. 

But it began again soon enough. He was absolutely horrible at mini golf. He could hit the ball, but the amount of power he put into each swing was always too much. On more than one occasion he put so much force behind it that he was bouncing the ball off the obstacles making it a dangerous projectile… The worst part? He had to go chasing after that ball like an impup playing fetch every time. Humiliating. 

“We shall.” Bex gave an appreciative head-nod as Vadim let her go first, examining the area the best she could. Given everyone else in the area, she thought she had a pretty good idea of what she needed to do. Swing, aim, chase after the stupid little ball when she veers wildly off course. She began to just rely on smaller swings, way less power than she really wanted to put into it. It  made actually getting to the hole take double the swings, but at least she didn’t have to scamper as much.

And since they were sort-of taking turns, it gave her time to lean back on the golf club and watch her date hit the golf ball like it owed him money. Again, so familiar… Still, it was a fun thing to see. Despite failing at the game, she was getting to see an attractive bun hustle about with some physicality. A few times she joined him in retrieving the golf ball, just to make sure she wasn’t letting him suffer in silence, but most of the time she enjoyed the view a bit. Not a crime to have a good time.

Bex joining him on some of his chase-the-ball adventures was pleasant. By the time the final hole came around he’d just about given up. He was barely putting the ball so as to not have to chase it down again, but his enthusiasm for spending the time with her hadn’t waned.

And when they finally turned in the clubs he rubbed the back of his neck looking up at the ceiling. “Sooo.. Guess that’s it huh? Date accomplished?” He wasn’t sure if he was happy this was the end or not… One of those things where it was nice while it was going but he wasn’t sure if he should be cutting his losses and running or trust his greed and push it. 

She definitely hadn’t won the mini-golf round, since she lost count of her swings about four holes back. It didn’t really seem to matter though as they made it to the final one, and they were both leisurely putting the ball through the course. The few fun swings did make it worth it, though.

“Guess we got through it! Despite the weird ass choice of location the Church chose to bestow on us.” Bex pushed some of her hair back into place and took another look over at Vadim. She definitely had fun tonight, even despite the location being… Odd. She flipped out her phone, tilting her head towards him. “You know, I bet we might be able to beat the Church out for location if we tried,” she said. “If you’re free sometime.”

The offer of another date definitely caught Vadim off guard enough to stutter for a moment, “OH! Uh, s-sure.” He grinned and pulled out his phone to give her his number. “I uh, my schedule’s a bit weird, but whenever you have a free night just let me know, I can probably get it covered. Concert sound good next time or..?” Man was he screwed, but going out with such a pretty doll again, he couldn’t pass that up. Then he remembered… the blind dates were going on all month and he doubted Azrael would let him off the hook after just one. “Oh and fuck, uh, this exclusive or are you still… doing more blinds?” He really didn’t want to be sneaking around behind her back, she didn’t seem like the type of bun to cross. Plus it was rude.

Bex didn’t have many dates that she came out of feeling like they worked even with her master plan, so she was feeling a bit bolder. And that split second stutter brought a quick smile to her face before she could tamp it down. “Concert would be great; I haven’t gone to one in a while. And we’d probably look a bit more fitting there.” Just more confirmation that it was a good idea to at least go to a place where she felt a bit more at home to chat more. 

“And nah, not exclusive,” she lingered on the end of that sentence, eventually deciding it was pushing her luck to try a flirty ‘yet’. “It’s Matentines, I’m sure you’ve got some other fun offers to explore this month as well.”

He definitely felt the fluttering in his stomach from that pause. “Cool, uh. Text me, and I’ll scour for some tickets.” He grinned. “Enjoy the rest of your matentines. I’ll, uh…” His eyes darted away. “I’ll see you around, Bex.” He tried to put back on his confident attitude before he made his way across the street and dipped into an alley way so that she wouldn’t know which way he was headed home - even if he liked her, it was usually wise in his profession - especially not knowing hers.