blind date

A blind date. Hyacinth had never tried anything of the sort, but with Matentine’s season here, the matching service provided by the Church of Sulfur had become more and more tempting until she’d finally given in and put her name into the pool of buns seeking a connection. What was the worst that could happen, after all? If the date went badly, at least she’d requested to meet at her favorite tea parlor. A cup of Earl Grey was always a delight in the still-chilly February air.

If it went well, on the other hand… it would be nice to have a partner to pass the holiday with. Though the chill in the air outside the parlor bit at her cheeks, it was actually a bit of heat at the thought that prompted a mild flush out of the bun.

Hyacinth wrapped her beige-hued peacoat tighter around herself, looking both ways down the sidewalk to keep an eye out for her date. Though she didn’t know what he looked like, she knew to watch out for branching envy horns, and she had a single name: Crypt. Both of those should be more than enough to identify her date when he arrived, right?

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On the other hand, Crypt… didn’t do well with the city. He was tall, gaunt, and not great at conversing with others. He preferred the outskirts, and his house full of dust bunnies and spiderwebs. Though, despite his gloomy appearance and preference for the dust, even he couldn’t deny the tug of a possible match.

Call him a bit of a romantic, Crypt was drawn to the Church’s promise of blind date just the same as any other hot blooded bun. The bun he was supposed to meet was named Hyacinth. It was a pretty name, he thought, and he hoped the bun attached to the name was just the same. 

In the same breath, Crypt was… extremely nervous. Perhaps he should’ve dusted off some of the webs in his horns before arriving? He should’ve taken an extra nap too.

Arriving to their meeting place, he saw her. How he knew it was her was the fact that she was the only bun standing alone outside the parlor. Hyacinth, like her namesake, was beautiful. But not just beautiful. She was gorgeous. That being said, Crypt grew even more nervous at the sight of her. Shifting on his hooves, he thought perhaps he should leave while he still could. 

That was when they locked eyes. Oh no. He approached slowly. “Hello,” he greeted.

.

Oh, there was no question that the bun in front of her was the one that she was looking for. His name just… fit him, considering his gloomy mien and the little motes floating around his person. Hyacinth offered a gentle smile when he greeted her, taking him in more blatantly at what was all but confirmation that he was who she was waiting for.

“Well, hello,” she hummed, the sheer fabric around her horns shifting as she tilted her head just slightly. He reminded her of the sort of book she might find in the back of an antique store, threadworn and dusty. For a bun like her, who enjoyed a good first edition, she was pleased. “I’m Hyacinth. Are you… Crypt, by any chance?”

.

Hyacinth’s voice matched her looks. The sheer fabric about her body made her look like some sort of wisp, or fluttering cloud. Crypt approached, his hooves careful as they approached and his voice soft. 

“Yes, I am. It’s lovely to…” Crypt stopped momentarily to let out a yawn. Gosh, he really should’ve taken the opportunity to nap. Though, it might not’ve helped any. “It’s lovely to meet you.” He finally completed.

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Hyacinth blinked as he yawned wide. While some buns might have been offended at the gesture, she, more than anything else, found it rather cute. He yawned like he positively could not help it, not like he was somehow bored halfway through their introductions.

“The feeling is mutual,” she hummed, reaching her hands over to delicately hold onto his elbow and steer the much, much taller bun into the tea parlor. “If you’re feeling sleepy, I know of a wonderful shu pu-erh that they serve here.” Tea time was something of a hobby for her, and she took a particular interest in matching other buns up to the tea that would best suit them. Though she didn’t know Crypt well, the earthy taste of pu-erh was a spot on match, in her taste.

Imagine that. Playing matchmaker at her own blind date. The irony was not lost on her.

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Crypt on the other hand wasn’t sure what to make of the tea comment, but he was already sizing up Hyacinth in return. She was shorter than him, a lot of people were, and her voice had a certain melodious tone to it that was pleasant to listen to.

Crypt didn’t like grating things, and often took the path of least resistance in most endeavors. Some may call it lazy, but he called it casual. 

Hyacinth seemed to be someone who, perhaps, understood that lifestyle. He couldn’t be sure, but so far, he wasn’t immediately hating this. “I wouldn’t want to sleep while I’m enjoying this.”

.

Hyacinth didn’t mind that he seemed uninterested in her tea recommendation; she’d insist on him trying it once they were seated, anyway. “I suppose that it wouldn’t make for a very good first date if you slept through it,” she hummed, the pair passing through the door to the parlor now. The bell above the door rung out, prompting the bun at the counter to call for the pair to take a seat where they liked.

“Does this work?” she asked Crypt, leading him to a booth secluded near the back of the establishment. It would be nice to have the privacy to have their own conversation while they sipped at their tea, after all.

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Private, and away from the crowd. It was perfect. Crypt smiled lightly, turning to Hyacinth as they approached the table. 

“Oh, yes. This is wonderful.” 

Once seated, the two of them huddled into the booth, and Crypt found that, again, he was taller. Even while sitting, he looked slightly over his blind date. She didn’t seem bothered. “Uh, poo-er tea you said?” He tried to begin conversation.

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There were menus already at the table, which, after seating herself, Hyacinth inspected with delicate fingers to check for specials or new menu additions. She glanced up only at the sound of his voice; a little smile appeared on her features at him circling back around to her recommendation. Yes, she would be proved right, yet.

“Shu pu-erh,” she repeated, leaning forward to open his menu and point it out. “It’s a little earthy, but in a good way, and it will wake you right up. Just trust me on this.” Asking that was a bit like a blind date in general, right? He could always order something different if it didn’t work out– though Hyacinth liked to give every new tea that she tried a fair shot.

In fact…

“I want you to choose one for me, next.”

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She repeated the name, and yet it didn’t sound any more pronounceable. Crypt opened his mouth to try it, but Hyacinth spoke faster. She raised an interesting challenge to end with. 

Choose one for her. Crypt looked over the menu, pouring over the many descriptions and pictures of teas in the book. There was plenty to choose from, all of them ranging from flora, to fruity, to earth, to sweet, tropical, spicy, you name it. It was honestly a little overwhelming.

Knitting his brow tightly, he thought. Hyacinth was elegant, she seemed very intelligent, and would the date go badly if he couldn’t choose the right one? He knew absolutely nothing about tea. 

That was when he saw it. It took a moment, yes, but he finally saw a tea he recognized. “This one, I think. Camo-meal.” Softly, he explained. “I like that tea a lot. It’s really comforting.”

.

Hyacinth waited in anticipation for Crypt to choose a tea for her, finally smirking when he made his decision. “Chamomile, hm?” she repeated, placing a dainty finger on her chin as if thinking it over. “It is a very calming brew. Yes, I’d like to go with your choice.” She didn’t say it aloud, but chamomile was one of her hands down favorites.

With a delicate flick of her wrist, she waved the waitress over so the pair could order their tea. Once that was out of the way, she leaned in a bit. “So… what are your hobbies, Crypt?”

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Crypt let out a sigh of relief when Hyacinth seemed to respond well to his choice. He was worried that she might not share the same sentiment he had about his favorite brew of tea. Though, just as soon as one obstacle was scaled, another arrived. 

Hobbies. He knew this question would come up. Crypt had thought that he should practice a few potential answers, but most often, he came up blank on responses. "Oh," Crypt shifted in his seat. "I like sleeping, and..." Not a great start. "Gardening." Closest he could get to 'tending to a mushroom patch' he could get without sounding deranged on a first date.

.

“I keep a garden, too,” she replied, lighting up at finding a good opportunity to talk about it. “What do you like to keep in yours? I like peony, foxglove, and… hyacinth, of course.” She chuckled a little to herself. Her own namesake was perhaps a little on the nose, but she liked the way just a small patch of the flower carried its scent into her cottage on spring days.

Fortunately, the waitress coming back with two teapots saved Crypt from being forced to explain his mycological hobby. She placed each of their choices before the pair, then their little teacups and a healthy stack of napkins. “Ooh,” Hyacinth hummed, “thank you.” She immediately poured herself a steaming cup of chamomile.

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Crypt was already sweating at the prospect of having to explain what he was actually growing in his garden, but the waitress couldn't have come fast enough. Looking down at the cup, it was a dark tea with a nice fragrance. It sort of reminded him of the swamps at home. 

Feeling slightly more comforted, he blew a bit of steam of the top of the cup, dipping it to take a sip... And prompt burning his mouth. With a hiss, he placed it down, coughing at the burning feeling on his tongue. "It's hot." He muttered.

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Hyacinth hadn’t shown her more fiendish side yet, but it came out with very, very little warning. What could she say? It was a first date; no better time than now for a little flirtation. “Would you like me to blow on it?” she asked, pointing a manicured finger in his direction– though if it was at his cup, or elsewhere, remained to be seen.

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Crypt coughed again, though this time for a different reason. For a succubun, Crypt was surprisingly prudish. Well, not prudish. He could be just as sinful as the rest of them, but shy was perhaps a better word. When Hyacinth made her innuendo, he was already bursting with blush. 

"I would, yes." He answered perhaps too quickly, and his more earnest side was showing now.

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It was precisely the reaction she was looking for, and– yes, this had cemented it. She was sufficiently endeared to Crypt for another date at some point very soon. Hyacinth picked up his cup and brought it to her lips to blow lightly at the surface of the liquid. He didn’t seem keen on making eye contact while she did it. It was fine; she found his shyness rather cute.

“Here, see if that’s better,” she cooed, setting the cup back in front of Crypt.

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Crypt took the cup from her, trying to force his hands not to shake while he did it. Hyacinth had more than exceeded his expectations, and had blown them out of the water. He wondered if after this she would even be open to more. The thought of mating with her made his head dizzy too. 

Instead of worrying about that though, he took another sip of the tea. It was still pretty hot, but cool enough for him to taste it. "Oh!" Crypt moved back. "It's delicious."

.

If she’d had any lingering doubts, his reaction to the tea she’d chosen washed them all away. She sipped at her own chamomile, trying not to look too smug about how well she’d picked for him. “I had a feeling you’d like it!” Hyacinth replied. “And chamomile was the perfect choice for a day like this.”

Hyacinth set down her cup. “So… I think I’d like to do this again. What do you think?”

.

Crypt couldn't believe what he was hearing. She was actually asking for a second date, and he'd barely even had a chance to fumble it. Looking over to her, Crypt wasn't the type of person to be nervous about what he wanted, even if the more sexual things made him nervous. 

"I'd be more than happy to, you're--" He felt it coming on first, trying to stop it, but it wouldn't happen. He yawned. "Ah, uh, sorry, you're really fun."

.

Hyacinth smiled. “It’s a date, then,” she replied. After another careful sip of her tea, as to not burn herself, she added just as casually as her flirtation earlier, “I have lots of teas at my house, though. Would it be alright to meet there next time?” She couldn’t suppress a cheeky wink.

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Making sure he wouldn't spit broiling tea all over the table, he released a surprised cough on the rim of the cup, placing it down onto the table as fast as he could. Once the cup was free from his trembling hands, he nodded. 

"I want to come over to your house next time." His statement was so flat, it was almost robotic. Though, it wasn't for a lack of caring, instead it was due to the work he had to put in not to stutter the phrase out.

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Luckily, Hyacinth had enough sense to recognize that he was flustered, rather than disinterested. It certainly didn’t stop her from egging him on, though.

“For tea,” she hummed, “and sex!”

Maybe the abrupt announcement had pressed his buttons a little too hard, actually, since those last two words seemed to be all it took for his shaky hands to send his teacup accidentally flying across the table onto the floor, where it landed with a crash.

“Oh–” Hyacinth began, standing up to avoid getting any on herself. “Let’s get this cleaned up, alright?” She clearly wasn’t put off at all by the little accident, and in fact was only more excited to have a second date now. His reactions to her flirtations were cute enough that she could only imagine getting hot and heavy. In fact…

“Crypt, do you have any plans today?” No time like the present!