Blind Date | I'll take a double, please!

“I cannot believe that you actually signed me up for those stupid dating services!”

“Oh come on, you do need to get out and make some new friends, Ione!” Limon laughed as she finished up Ione’s hair braids and stepped back as Ione got to their hooves.

“You’re sure you don’t want to be in something nicer?” The smaller doll asked while eying Ione’s outfit consisting of a sweater and jeans. Ione scowled at Limon who had gone for a tight shorts and crop top herself. 

“Okay okay I’m sorry!” Chuckling, she checked the time “We better get going, you grumpy glutton!”
“Listen here you little shit” Oh, Ione was rather annoyed with their tail flicking rapidly and Limon ran off before her closest friend could get one more word out. Groaning and taking a deep breath to calm themselves, Ione strolled out at a more relaxed pace; catching up to Limon with more ease due to their longer stride.

It did not take them long to reach the restaurant where they were supposed to meet their blind date.

“Think they’re here already?” Ione pondered as Limon pulled out her phone to check for details.

“Don’t know. Look for two buns, both male presenting; one lust with blue colouring and one pride with violet colouring and yellow horns….” Ione scanned the tables for the pair. Once they had noted lack of presence, the pair chose to sit down and wait for their dates.

~~~~

As tempted as he was to ask his roommate if he planned on putting his Buntendo Switch down anytime soon, Damian knew better than to rile the already agitated lust bun up with a question like that. Especially considering it wouldn't be his first time asking them that question. They'd been furiously playing it on the walk to the restaurant, and slightly less furiously he was playing it still.

At least he seemed to be calming down some. He knew the blue bun would be annoyed, what with having signed them both up for the blind date service, but, like, come on. It wasn't every day that you got to go on a double date. A blind double date, at that!

...though, you'd probably think that, if that was such a special occasion, that he'd dress up for the part, huh? ... Nah. The only real difference here was that Mika had their hoodie on, with the hood up. Looking kinda like they were trying to disappear, in a way.

Golden smoke escaped past Damian's lips as he sighed a little, hoping that things would pick up a little more once their dates arrived. Mika'd probably still be pretty sour, but he was also pretty confident he'd open up at least a little.

Tearing his eyes away from the gaming bun, Damian turned his attention back to... Looking for their dates. He had wanted to wait for them by the entrance, but Mika wasn't having none of that and insisted they sit.

...oh. 

"Is that them?" Damian asked; breaking the... Well, not really silence. Mika wasn't playing at full blast, but there was definitely noise coming from that handheld of his.

Mika glanced in the direction Damian was looking in, but besides that didn’t really bother pausing his game. Yet.

A lime and lemon coloured lust bun with glassy legs, together with a brown gluttony bun with glassy horns… That had to be them, right? One way to find out! While Mika continued gaming, Damian at least made an attempt to get the two dolls their attention with a questioning wave of his hand whenever eye contact was made.

~~~~

Ione had been the first to spot the pair and bit back a deep groan. Why the fuck were they both so fucking tall? They lifted a hand to beckon them over. Their dates had arrived. 

Noting how surly the lust bun seemed to be, Ione relaxed a bit as they got the feeling they were not the only one being forced into this date.

~~~

Hmm… Was it just Damian’s imagination, or did that one bun seem…almost as happy as Mika seemed to be to see them. Curious. Anywho.

“‘Sup.” Damian spoke casually once closer. He was grinning slightly, which was meant to be friendly, but, well… His grins tended to lean more smug or cheeky despite his best attempts. “Blind date, yeah? ‘m Damian. ‘nd this is…” He glanced over to Mika, who had followed, but still seemed to refuse to put his game down. “...is Mika.”

~~~~

“.............” Ione glanced to Limon almost as if silently saying ‘I will kill you later for this’

“I’m Limon and this is Ione~!” Limon cheerily took over gesturing for the pair to take their seats while ignoring the silent threat from her long time friend. 

“Nice to meet you! So glad we could have this double date together. I presume you two are friends?” Limon continued with a sweet flirty smile while Ione kept their annoyance at the whole situation to themselves. They already did not like Damian.

~~~

The look the one introduced as Ione gave the one introduced as Limon did not escape Damian. His lips started to twist into an amused laugh, but he managed to hold himself back. Mika, on the other hand, started to make a face once Limon started talking. He already wasn’t a fan of this one. Jury was still out on Ione, though.

Damian nodded in response to the introduction; following along to get seated. “Right back at’cha. S’nice to meet lovely buns such as yourselves.” He could feel Mika roll his eyes at that. And, while he was also pretty sure that in this instance Mika would deny their being friends, Damian simply responded with a, “You could say that, yeah. ‘m guessin’ the two of you ’re friends, too?” At the very least, they seemed to be close enough to be friends at a glance.

~~~~

Ione’s eyebrows raised slightly at the way Mika had reacted to Limon. Well that was interesting. Limon had to subtly nudge them to keep their poker face so they did not outwardly grimace at being called a lovely bun. 

“Littermates” “Best friends” the pair glanced at each other then Limon sat back as Ione continued

“We were raised together from littermates to current best friends” They shrugged nonchalantly

“......I’m going to be blunt here. You dragged this one into this double blind date” Ione raised an eyebrow at Damian with a slight nod in Mika’s direction as Limon cleared her throat.

“Not everyone’s in the same situation as you are, Ione” she pointed out and Ione simply stared pointedly at how displeased Mika was looking and his face glued to his game console. That shut the citrusy lust up quickly. 

~~

Oh, from littermates to best friends, huh?

“Well isn't that sweet?” Certainly sweeter than Mika and his roommate situation, anyway. Still, his words were genuine, even if he might not look it.

Mika's snort was accompanied by Damian blinking at Ione’s sudden comment, only mildly taken off guard by its bluntness. Just mildly. He'd be lying if he said they hadn't given them some kind of vibe, which that comment just confirmed. Instead of getting defensive or anything like that though, he instead continued to smile a now particularly cheeky grin. “Oh yeah? What gave that away?”

Said amusement only grew at the exchange between the two best friends. ‘Same situation’ huh? The purple pride bun turned to look at his friend. “Lookit that; sounds like the two of you already have something to bond over. Isn't that great?”

Oh, if looks could kill. 

While the newly uncovered information helped Mika calm down and feel a little better about his situation, he still could do without Damian and his dumbass comments.

Damian simply grinned before leaning back in his seat a bit. “I take it this one isn't all too fond of the outside either, yeah?” He asked Limon directly; ignoring whatever ugly looks may be shot his way. 

At the very least, Mika seemed to have some colourful things to say about him beneath his breath.

~~~~

Ione would be lying if they were not secretly pleased at getting a reaction out of the surly lust bun. Oh if looks could kill, Damian would be dead twice over. Ione did shot Damian withering glare as Limon snorted

“I’m guessing he’s a hermit? Ione does get out, they own a cafe after all”
“I just don’t like to socialize with the patrons because-”
“I know. I have far more patience than you do” Limon chuckled as Ione grabbed a menu to browse while muttering curses under their breath.

“This is entertaining, I won’t lie” Limon was rather amused by the parallels between the pairs “Any reason you dragged him here? Ione needs more friends after all”
“I’m fine!” The gluttony protested
“Your friends are all grumpy men who barely talk and you’re dating one of them.”
“So? You also fuck few of them, Limon.” They snapped.
“Point made.” Limon eyed the menu in Ione’s hand “You can pick my meal out” she ducked Ione’s attempt at smacking her head while laughing.

“Sorry about that!” Limon apologized on their behalf as Ione refocused on the menu.

~~~

Oh yeah, this was definitely entertaining. If not the parallels between them, then Damian was definitely getting a bit of enjoyment out of seeing the two friends interact with one another. At the very least, it was more entertaining than watching Mika ignore everyone. Definitely wanted to keep getting to know the both of them better, but he’d be lying if a certain thing Ione said about Limon hadn’t caught his attention, in a way. Still, speaking of socializing…

Ah, so Ione was not much for socializing, huh? “Interesting.” Damian mused. “But yeah, something like that. On the flip side though, when he’s in his element, Mika’s plenty social. Though…that probably comes with the territory, yeah?” Damian replied, giving Mika a far too amused and expectant look. Like, what? Was he expecting him to tell them what he did for a living?

Not feeling like playing Damian’s game, Mika did finally pause his game and put it down long enough to look through the menu. Still… It wasn’t like he was deaf to the conversation around him, obviously. So Ione owned a bakery, huh? Hmm…

“Oh, c’mon, don’t be that way. You’re a big bun. Be nice to the pretty buns and use your big bun words~” Damian continued to try and egg him on, which may or may not be starting to work. He did think he could hear the blue lust bun mutter a soft ‘nunya,’ but that wasn’t really an answer. He’d get Mika to say something aloud eventually. Or maybe one of their dates would manage that. Who knows?

Anyway…

It was probably about time he also took a look through this menu, right? Get a couple drinks and/or appetizers, keep getting to know these two and all that. “Oh, by the by, feel free to order whatever. S’on me~” Because of course Damian would.

~~~~

Limon could just see a vein popping on Ione’s neck from the way Damian addressed Mika about using his words. Oh dear. 

Ione slowly glanced up from the menu to stare at Damian at that last sentence

“You do realize my vice is Gluttony?” Limon sputtered and cackled at the sheer deadpan tone coming from them. 

Oh they would be ordering plenty, Limon just knew that and she had pity for the prideful doll’s wallet. 

“Not to say that everyone embodies their own vice mind you,” Limon chuckled “,but Ione does have bit of passion for food”
“And you for-” “Ione” at that slightly sharp tone from her, Ione returned to their menu with muttered curses.

“.......She runs an ice cream parlor. You two still have not shared with us what it is you two do for living” Ione eventually blandly pointed out with their eyes locked on the menu as Limon browsed the drink menu with a soft sigh.

~~~

Damian didn’t know what he liked more; the way Ione deadpanned him, or the Limon started cackling in what he could only guess was in response to said gluttony bun’s deadpan’ness. Still… 

“I know what I said~” He replied in a playfully confident tone. “Worst case scenario I just gotta work a little harder than usual. No biggie.” He shrugged. Still… He didn’t miss the little back and forth between the two friends. Limon had a passion for…what, hmm?

It took more self-control than Damian usually exhibited to not answer Ione’s question in a playfully crude way. “True. Thought I’d let Mika introduce himself, but since he seems to be refusing to cooperate…”

…okay, okay fine. But only because Ione actually asked, unlike Damian who’d been trying to get under his skin. “....’m a variety streamer.” Mika muttered; eyes still glued to the menu.

“Oh, well would you look at that. You can use your big bun wor–”

“Hey! Can we get a fucking waiter here already!?” Mika exclaimed in an attempt to, well, get a waiter’s attention. He wasn’t full on screaming, but he was definitely being louder than need be. Was he actually ready to order yet? No, not really, but he’d make it work.

…Damian still hadn’t gotten the chance to say what he did for a living, though. Maybe he should wait for things to cool down a bit again, though. He got it. He pushed one too many buttons.

~~~~

Ione startled slightly at Mika’s loud volume then raised an eyebrow at Damian as Limon coughed to hide her mild amusement. When a waiter finally came around, Ione promptly ordered several dishes that would feed a table of three easily but were all for just themselves.
“And the lady next to me will get those two dishes. We will share this appetizer as well” Ione finished up as they pointed to various things on the menu. 

“Both of us will get your drink on special” Limon injected with ease when it was her turn. 

Once the waiter had turned to the two boys for their orders before departing. 

Variety streamer? Intriguing.

“It would be appreciated if you could refrain from agitating your friend” Ione pointedly stared at Damian “And finish answering my question regarding your work.” 

~~

Hmm… Was it bad that, rather than dreading the hit his wallet was going to take, he was more amused than anything at all the everything Ione was ordering? Which he didn’t doubt for a second they couldn’t eat all on their own. Seriously; there was genuine amusement there.

On the other hand, Mika got the chance to calm down a little after his little outburst while Ione ordered. Also gave him some time to quickly look through the menu a little more. Once it was their turn to order, Mika ended up ordering a fair bit himself, though nowhere near as much as Ione had. He’d probably be needing an impup-bag for some of the stuff he ordered, but hey. When Damian says he’s paying, you take advantage of that.

Damian, on the other hand…ordered a more reasonable amount of food. Not because he could feel his wallet hurting, mind you. No, if he had cared about that at all he wouldn’t have ordered nearly as many drinks as he had. Him? An alcoholic? Naaah.

…they were going to need an extra table or two to hold everything, weren’t they?

A soft, smokey chuckle escaped past Damian’s lips at Ione’s words. “Yeah yeah, I got it. I’ll be good. ‘nd it wasn’t like I was trying to avoid answering.” Bite your tongue, Damian. You literally just said you weren’t going to agitate Mika anymore. “‘m a…brawler, of sorts.”

…of sorts.

And at that, Damian blew out a puff of smoke, accompanied by some kind of silly hand movement. “And just like that, the mystery is no longer a mystery. Oooh~” Look, he was having fun, okay? “Anyway…y’should tell me where this bakery and ice cream parlor or yours are. So I can drop by some time. Unless I’ve made that bad of an impression that I’m not banned from doing so.”

~~~~

Oh they were absolutely going to need a table. That waiter from earlier is already preparing for that. Ione did raise an eyebrow at all the alcohol being ordered before hearing his answer to their question.

A brawler. Fucking hell Limon? A fucking brawler??? ANOTHER ONE? WHY?
Ione had half of their mind to just get up and leave right now but they would not do that. Yet.

“Where the ever loving fuck do you keep finding such buns with such dangerous hobbies?” Ione was immediately groaning as Limon snickered in delight “Not my fault I just so happen to attract those types, Ione! And they’re not that dangerous!” She protested as Ione shook their head in exasperation.

While Ione rubbed the bridge of their nose, Limon clarified “I spar in my spare time. It’s one of my passions.” she was not about to elaborate more beyond that for Ione’s sake. 

“Oh you’re gonna have to tell me where you brawl at, Damian~” Oh she was absolutely fucking delighted as she pulled out her business card for her parlor containing the address and phone number as well as the hours to hand over to Damian. “And here’s the information for my parlor. Don’t worry about the ban, it takes a lot to get banned” she chuckled

“Their cafe’s near my parlor so you’ll manage just fine. Both places have wifi too” she eyed Mika. 

~~~

Ohoh? What was this? Limon had the habit of attracting ‘buns with such dangerous hobbies’ and that wasn’t a problem for her? … Damian was tempted to interject with brawling not just being some kind of hobby, but, er… No. No, they were right, in a way. His job also happened to actually be a hobby of his…if you could it that.

The moment he heard Limon say the S-word, she immediately got all of Damian’s attention. No, not sex, but close enough honestly. “...is that so?” He murmured.

“Damian…” Mika interjected in a sharp tone.

In return, Damian just shrugged. “What? I was just acknowledging Limon’s perfectly respectable passion in sparring. Is there something wrong with that?”

You know what? Mika gave up. Was their food ready yet?

Still, going back to before he was oh-so rudely interrupted… “Sure thing. Don’t have a business card like you do, but I can take y’there when I got a match one day.” Or, y’know, just tell her where it was so she could go by herself whenever she felt like it, but was it really so bad of him to try and offer going together?

Speaking of business cards though; the purple pride bun happily took the one given to him and gave it a quick once-over before pocketing it away. It was also good to know that the parlor and bakery seemed to be near each other. “I’ll be sure to stop by soon.”

Mika, who was now just resting with his arms crossed on the table, did not miss the eyes trained on him at the mention of there being wifi. How easy did he look? Still… Instead of giving an overly mean response, he simply looked away and replied with a dry, “Good to know.”

~~~~

Ione sighed and looked away from the table, waiting rather impatiently for their waiter to come with the food. They had already come by to set up for the incoming large load of food. 

“Oh you’re going to have to tell me when your matches are. My schedule can be little unpredictable but I can make time~” Limon smiled sweetly “I look forward to seeing you then!”

She wilted and Ione snickered at Mika’s dry response. 

“You tried” Ione muttered under their breath and Limon sighed deeply “Dare I ask how you manage to befriend the quiet ones?”
“Not by being obnoxious” was the quick snark
“.............................................Rude but true. Still rude.” She pouted.

Oh finally the food came and got set up around them along with their drinks. Ione was hungry!

~~~

“S’a promise.” Damian confirmed, but still… “In the wait-time… You wouldn’t happen to be looking for any more sparring partners, would you?” 

What? He had to ask! You miss all of the shots you don’t take, and Damian wasn’t about that life.

Mika just sighed, but couldn’t help but snort in response to Ione’s snark. Ha.

…meanwhile, Damian continued to bite his tongue to not make some kind of crude comment himself. “Oh, c’mon. I’d hardly call that being obnoxious.”

Forget for a moment that this was still Damian’s first time meeting Limon and literally what did he know compared to her friend?

“Oh, look at that. The obnoxious bun doesn’t think the other obnoxious bun is obnoxious. Shocker~” Mika quietly, mockingly, muttered to himself.

…okay, rude.

It probably was a good thing that the food arrived when it did. Not that there was any kind of danger of anything bad happening, just. Hey! Hard to be mad or annoyed with good food around, right?

Damian thought to himself as he took a swig of his whiskey.

~~~~

“Oh absolutely I’m always looking for more sparring partners” Limon commented just as a plate was set in front of her.
“And to fuck” Ione muttered under their breath while digging into a pasta dish and Limon’s jaw dropped at the audacity and the truth of their statement. Rude! Did not help that Ione just rolled their eyes at Damien’s protest to their statement.

The table went quiet with some small talk here and there; mostly between Damian and Limon. 

It was a while later that Ione got through all of their plates that they had ordered and cleared their throat as they drained their drink with a quiet sigh. Limon was just finishing up her plate when Ione stated plainly

“Well. Thank you for the free meal. I’m out of here.” Ione got up and departed swiftly with Limon facepalming.

“They’ll be waiting outside the restaurant for me…..Sorry about that….But it really was a lovely date.”

~~~

Okay look, he had tried not to, but Ione’s muttered comment managed to get a pretty good laugh out of Damian. Limon’s reaction didn’t help much either. Fuck it; this was the ‘rude’ table now. “Good to know we’ve got that in common.”

Also, y’know? While it was nice to go through the rest of the date…relatively snark-free, it…sure was something when Ione finished eating, which had been quite the sight to behold, thanked him for the meal, then proceeded to ollie out just like that. Honestly Damian was far more amused than offended. He really did dig Ione’s way of being there. Shame the feeling didn’t seem to be mutual, though.

…probably didn’t help a whole lot that, had Mika not indeed needed an impup-bag, he, too, would’ve just ollie’d out himself, too. Sadly enough, though, he wasn’t going to let all of this good food go to waste just like that, so… He was stuck with Damian a little longer. At least until a waiter helped put his leftovers away.

Damian simply laughed and waved Limon off. “Yeah, yeah; no hard feelings. Go on and catch up with that friend of yours. I’ve got things handled here.” He winked. Hearing that Limon, at least, seemed to have had a good time was good enough for him, honestly.

As for Mika? Well… Hopefully he has another place to stop by when he inevitably gets locked out of his apartment again.