imp investment

Bex hadn’t really ever considered herself a pet person. Nurturing and caring for another creature just… didn’t really fit her whole scheme. Especially if it was nurture and care with no reward. She tends to stray towards extrinsic motivation, and ‘happiness and self fulfillment from owning a pet’ wasn’t ever a consideration.

But, as of recently, she’s realized something. One of the reasons she keeps dropping big money deals seemed to be her ‘intimidating aura’. Something about her made the more meek buns shy away from deals with her, even before she started selling her pitch. Something was just too… scary. And while she had purposefully cultivated a look that read as ‘Don’t even try to mess with me’ on purpose, it was not a good sign if it was losing her money.

She needed a solution. Something to make her look less intimidating when she wanted to flip that charm switch without compromising all sense of threat. And her research found something very particular that appealed to her.

If someone is good with animals, people are much more likely to trust them. And this idea tracks to Bex. Witnessing someone be kind to something cute and fluffy feels like a brief glimpse of morality and secret kindness. And that was exactly what she needed her clients to feel, before she tried to lock them into a multi-year debt repayment scheme.

So, she was going to have a pet. Bex had done research on this, as she did with all of her business ventures and investments. Out of the three pets suggested for beginning adopters, she had been stuck between two options. She had instantly ruled out the Chirop, unwilling to take any risks that may come with a prankster pet. No, she needed one that she could trust to behave.

The recommendations left for a first time owner were either a Phloof or an Impup. Both options had their pros and cons for her plans, and she was honestly stuck on that decision. The scales didn’t particularly tip either way. 

That brings her here and now, standing in front of the Imporium with her hands at her sides. Bex isn’t foolish enough to presume she’ll ‘think with her heart’, but she believes that some unknown variable will present itself as she looks at the large masses of adorable swarming creatures.

It’s fairly close to closing time, a fact that Bex had made sure of before coming here. She didn’t want to throw elbows with a potential client over the perfect imp. She tucks a strand of hair behind her ear and does her best impression of a warm-hearted future imp parent before she walks into the Imporium.

The bell jingles softly, and someone hunched over behind the counter makes a faint noise of recognition. It’s followed by the chitters and chirps of several imps in the same vicinity. Assuming that this is the shopkeep, Bex approaches slowly and quietly.

“Hi,” she says towards the bun seemingly corralling a whole herd of imps out from their counter shelves. “Do you… need any help?” Not that she really had the training or know-how it took to shoo imps out of anywhere, or that she was interested in helping this imp shopkeep do what was likely their job. 

“Oh! No, no, don’t worry-” stammers the shopkeep. “It’s fine, they’re fine. They can be down here, I just don’t want the Remils and Furdins ganging up on this Phloof that won’t leave the highest shelf because they want to be up there, so I have to keep an eye on it while she’s sleeping on it, and-”

“That’s good then,” Bex interrupts when it seems like they’re a bit lost in their own head. Maybe it’s a bit rude to cut them off, but she doesn’t even know their name at this point. They must truly be good at their job if they care about the little social structures of the imp this much. “I’m glad it’s not an issue.”

Sheepishly, the shopkeep adjusts their glasses. “Uh- yeah. Sorry, um, I’m Hutch! I mean, welcome to the Imporium. It’s good to meet you, and stuff.”

“Yeah, good to meet you too, Hutch,” Bex says, giving them a seemingly soft smile. They seem nervous as hell, and that’s not what’s going to get Bex the best possible imp. She needs them on the top of their game. “I know it’s a little late in the evening, but I was wondering if I could get a little help adopting an imp? It’s my first time owning one, you see…”

She trails off, looking hopefully and expectantly towards them. She can almost see the switch flip in their brain as they begin to think about the retinue of imps present in their store and which of them would best fit with their mystery late night shopper (who they haven’t even asked the name of yet and who was in no hurry to clarify). 

Hutch sets down an imp that seemingly scrambled into their hands out of nowhere and begins to move about the store as they speak. 

“So, do you know what kind of imp you are looking for? Do you have a more active lifestyle?” Hutch asks as they grab a small carrier from the side of the store and bustle over to scan over the seemingly random piles of sleeping imps. “What are you looking for in an imp, and what do you think you’ll be able to give them? I have some that respond better to a lot of attention, and some that prefer having their own space... ”

“Well…” Bex cuts in before they ask more questions than she can answer. “I was thinking about some kind of easier to train imp… One that I could take up to work with me, maybe.”

“The imps I’d normally suggest for beginners are Chirops, Phloofs, or an Impup, ” Just as she predicted, Hutch rattles off the imps she’s already considered. “They’re typically easy to train, and require less intensive care. What sort of work do you do?”

“Less intensive care sounds good to me,” she replies. “I work in finance, specifically consumer-facing finance.”

Hutch nods as if they understand fully despite the slight glaze in their eyes at ‘consumer-facing finance’, and reach down to pull a Chirop out of a basket on the shelves. “So, a calmer job.”

Bex thinks of thrumming music and the packed casino bars, and shrugs. ”Sometimes. We have to rub shoulders with other people as well. I’d want an imp that wouldn’t be at risk of causing trouble with people’s financial records.” There, that should clear Chirop off the table without playing her hand that she definitely knew more than she was letting on.

She didn’t even really know why she was playing clueless about the imps at this point, but she was in too far on the lie to pull back now. Besides, it’s always fun to lie a little.

The shopkeep wordlessly puts down the Chirop and zips over to another small pile of imps. Sticking both hands into it, they emerge with an imp in each fist as they whirl around and present them to Bex.

“This one is a Impup. Higher energy, but concentrates most of that on affection. Great if you want to get more than one imp because they’re highly friendly, and can integrate into most households.” 

She takes the little thing out of Hutch’s hand and holds it up to her face. She tilts her head to get a better look at it, and the little Impup mimics her movement. The tiny ears flop in it’s face a little, and she allows herself to grin at it. Alright, fine. That was a little cute. 

In the background, Hutch is smiling ear to ear. They excitedly clutch the other imp to their chest, allowing her to get to know the Impup a little better. “For proper Impup care, you’d need to make sure they get enough water, though they don’t need food. And letting them get enough exercise each day is a good way to maintain a reasonable energy level and stimulate their brain. I like to recommend a walk in the morning and the evening, at the very least.”

Bex nods, rubbing a gentle thumb over the top of the Impup’s head before handing it back to Hutch. “Very cute,” she says truthfully. “But I’m not sure that I’d be able to guarantee the constant walks, I do work weird hours.”

And she was a bit worried about keeping a friendly, high energy imp on her during work hours. With so many people, how would she guarantee they don’t just wander off into crowds and make friends with her marks?

Hutch nods in understanding, placing the Impup back into the pile. They make a motion for Bex to open her hands, and when she does they all but pour the next imp into her cupped hands.

It’s… very tiny. And very fluffy. And very sleepy. It rolls around in her hands, snuggling its head down on top of her fingertips. Bex feels the urge to simply walk out of the store with this imp cupped in her hands. To shield it from any danger. She simply stares at it as it’s body rises and falls slightly.

Hutch is saying something, describing something about the Phloof’s slow and docile mannerisms and how much they like to snuggle. Bex isn’t particularly listening. In the midst of Hutch’s speech, she gently places the Phloof directly into her jacket pocket. It snuggles in deeper, and she stares at that a bit longer before speaking up to interrupt Hutch.

“I’ll adopt that one. Phloof, right? What does it need exactly?” Bex says, only a bit impatiently. She begins strolling to the desk, forcing Hutch to follow after her to hear her. “Carrier, water, keep them away from dango and mochi unless I’m sure the effects won’t be negative?”

“Uh- I mean, yes,” Hutch stammers, wheeling around her to stand behind the counter again. “Phloofs are- well, they have a lot of shedding, and that’s the biggest problem most people enc-”

“I’ll buy a vacuum then, sweet. How much do I owe you for the imp, carrier, and your multipack of soft imp toys?” Bex scoots the Phloof in her pocket over ever so slightly, getting her wallet out from under it. 

Hurriedly ringing everything up, Hutch tells her the total and she easily pays it, bundling all of her new items under her arm. “Thanks for all the help, Hutch. You’re a blessing. Seeya around.”

Quickly, as if trying to outrun something, Bex exits the store.

She slips her wallet back in besides the Phloof in her pocket. Despite it only being seconds ago that it was awake, the soft rise and fall of it’s tiny body implied it was already asleep.

This was going to be such a good investment.