Welcome to the Dirge District!

The ‘for you’ algorithm on Buntube seems to turn up the strangest of things…

Just now – look! It’s a video titled ‘Come to the Dirge District!’… it was uploaded ten whole years ago, and only has 25 views!

While one could preoccupy themselves wondering how this video unearthed itself, it’s more interesting to just dive in. It’s only five minutes long, after all.

Opening with a fade-in from black, the introduction seems to show a demon and a young succubun – who looks like they just grew in their horns. The footage is a bit grainy and low-quality, but both of them seem happy and excited to be on camera.

There’s a bit of an awkwardly long cue pause, but the two finally wave to the camera and cheer;

“Come on by to the Dirge District!”

A cheap transition leads to the window view of a moving bus – where the odd scenery of the locale is more evident.

While the demon and the succubun from the intro where in a… mostly normal-looking and very well-kept residential garden, it would seem the rest of this so-called ‘Dirge District’ had a vastly different appearance.

Trees with thick, practically bulbous trunks, with comical looking swirled branched that just seemed to keep branching. The trees barely had leaves, if any – though they were black as ash. The bark of the trees themselves was also quite odd, running in a gamut from purple to black.

The grass itself was a dark purple too… how odd.

After some ambient bus noises over the view from the window, a voiceover suddenly came on. It was a jolly-sounding woman’s voice.

“Lemme tell ‘ya, the outskirts don’t get any sweeter than this! Now, I don’t have any means to prove it, so you’ve just gotta trust me, OK? But they tell me this here Dirge is actually the closest to Hell you can get in Burrowgatory!”

The woman doing the voiceover pauses to chuckle.

“Of course, that’s just a rumor, I suppose. But did you know the trees here sing?”

Another cheap transition, this one a screen wipe. The camera holder was outside now, standing in a clearing and pointing the camera upwards at the odd trees.

The audio clipped back in, and the sound… seemed almost otherworldly. It was like some kind of… singing, or a melodic whistle. Whatever it was, it sounded truly haunting, so say the least.

Suddenly, the camerawoman’s voice piped up once again.

“That’s au naturale, baby! It makes that sound because of the wind passing through the curled branches, and BOY is it ever windy here!”

There’s another hearty chuckle from the camerawoman, before she continues.

“That’s why they call it the Dirge, after all! A haunting melody, symbolic of home!”

The footage cuts to black for a few seconds, and then starts rolling again to the sound of the clinking of glasses. The camera appears to be set on a surface of some kind now, evident by the lack of shakiness compared to when the camerawoman was holding it.

The camera is facing the open dining space of what looks to be a small, rustic-looking bar. The lighting is warm and dim, and much of the furniture seems hand-crafted… though, the color of the wood is all natural, as opposed to the color of the almost otherworldly purple trees seen earlier.

Many of the barstools and chairs are topped with warm-colored cushions, and though they look elaborate, the camera footage is still grainy, making them no more than a blur.

It was notable, however, that the bar was empty from this angle.

“Now, here in ‘Dirge, we may not have the fanciest nightlife, but-”

The camerawoman’s speech was cut off by a new voice.

“Dee, the…”

The new voice spoke in a whisper. It would appear the camerawoman’s name must’ve been Dee.

“Shh, Ash! It’s already rolling!”

“...The camera is turned the wrong way, I think.”

There was an awkward pause, with silence from both the voices. Suddenly, with amplified fumbling noises and a hand partially covering the lens, the camera was turned around to face the inner side of the bar – and now, it was facing the camerawoman, Dee.

The area behind the main bar looked just about as rustic as the rest of the interior that’d been seen, with an overwhelmingly warm palette. The rack behind Dee was lined with bottles of various kinds, with most being either amber, dark brown, or black in exterior color.

While it was, again, too grainy to properly make any true details out, some of the bottles looked unfamiliar to what alcohol could be found in the inner city.

“Heh, thank you, Ash.” Dee said with a huff, and proceeded to pick up where she left off.

“We may not have the fanciest nightlight, but I bet your darnedest we have the coziest! Come on over to my bar, where there’s always great food, drinks, and stories!”

With a smile, Dee reached to turn off the camera, and the clip ends.

And with a direct cut, there’s a default video editor blue colored background, and large arial text transitions onto the screen.

DIRGE DISTRICT

BURROWGATORY OUTSKIRT’S HIDDEN GEM

The text stays for a few seconds, before cheaply transitioning to more text.

Come by The Bar! Open 3pm – 3am

All week

...Followed by an address.

And with that, the video ended.

How odd.

Well, at least it was nice to know that even at the farthest reaches of Burrowgatory… there was still passion and enthusiasm about their home.

Though… come to think of it… that younger looking succubun at the start…

A quick rewind of the video.

...That’s Velvet, isn’t it?