[BRD] All in the Stars

She remembers the stars first and foremost.

Hana had found them a constant companion, and it might not be a stretch for her first word to be the stars. Little floating things of purple and yellow – she didn’t even have purple anywhere in her body, she would later learn. It must’ve been from one of her parents, one of the bunnery buns mused aloud upon noticing the peculiarity.

Early on, she was told that the topic of parents was mostly in discussing how her appearance was affected by them. It was a more commonly breached topic of baby buns that had manifested mutations as soon as they were born. In the case of Hana, they were the little stars of a particular color. As much as she was told that her parents would have no interest in her (in passing, there was a remark about how she would likely hate them for how terribly they would smell), she couldn’t help but be curious about the bun that would also have her stars. Why would her parents be smelly, anyway? And as far as she was concerned, these were her stars; it sounded weird for there to be another bun out there that also had them; the same color and size and shape.

So similar were they that a passing nun from another ward immediately recognized them. “Another one? I shouldn’t be surprised at how prolific they are, but…”

Though they wouldn’t know who gave her these stars. They just said that there were a couple of other buns that they had to raise that had them. Hana found the whole thing outrageous, absolutely unacceptable. They were what got the other buns interested in her, after all! What would happen if there were other buns out there that had the same thing? She wouldn’t stand out anymore, or worse, they would flock to them instead of her!

She remembers the worry of growing up and being tossed out there, having to work. How horrible. She remembers thinking that it would be nice not having to worry about the next paycheck and finding a bun to take care of her. She was a nice little bun! She wouldn’t make a fuss, and she had her little stars that others liked staring at (sometimes eat if they could, but they were more like lights refracting, in and out). It was then that she would sometimes think of her parents once more, not in any sort of fond way, but more of like…would they be willing to take care of her so that she wouldn’t have to work? Were they even together, or was it just a fleeting moment of something that ended up in her existence?

She had mixed feelings about the whole thing - thoughts of whether she should even be caring about these things because it seemed like none of her peers did not. They were more interested in learning, feeling good, pushing others around if they had the inclination. It wasn’t like Hana didn’t want these things either, but thinking about where she came from made her feel queasy. It also gnawed on her; an itch that couldn’t be scratched no matter how hard she tried or asked around or wanted to ignore.

Of course, the words that would verbalize these thoughts would only come much later. It was more of a swirl of emotions, really, a festering doubt that took place the more she learned about what she needed to know about Burrowgatory and adult living, which had been fast approaching. 

Before she knew it, she grew up. In the big world of Burrowgatory, she was once again left with the stars as her only companion.